Where do I go next?
What's next for me?
WHAT GOD DAMN IT!?!?
OK so I might be feeling like a giant cloud is sitting nicely around my head now and it won't go away.
I could actually be having a bad day and everything is just magnified. God I hate when that happens!
When you feel like you're having a bad day, week, month, year (oh jesus I just walked into the Friends theme song... sorry about that) everything feels blergh!
So why am I feeling this way?
Who hells knows but I know I'm not the only one and I know it will go away but for now everything is blergh.
I am turning 30 this year and while I am not one to hear a ticking clock for babies, I did think I would be in a relationship. I didn't say married but something. Something that makes your stomach flip. That's what I want.
It can still happen, I course, but recently I have had the case of the nostalgia and that sucks cause douche bag (aka former boyfriend) doesn't deserve that. Last year, I had three relationships. One of the three, made me feel cheap and nothing but a booty call and for some reason I feel that I want to look back on my time with with nostalgia. Why? Everyone gets like that but it annoys me that I am wasting my random thoughts on him.
As I said, last year, I dated three men. One started the year before and crossed over to the new year but was over by Australia Day, another turned out to be a racist arsehole and a pig, and the third was such a mamma's boy and socially awkward that it stop us from going anyway or talking about anything remotely close to a relationship.
The common factor in all of this is me.
And these three were, honestly, completely different. Nothing about them screamed similarities but they all seemed, in the end, to merge into the same douche as the one that befall the other.
So my theme for this year is to do my own shit! To be frank.
I am tired of wasting my time (and as you know, life is short) on men who think they are men, when in frank, they don't know what that means. Turning 21 doesn't automatically make you a man, as it does not make a woman. I have grown into a woman.
Yet, last year, I seemed to surround myself with boys. Boys who were terrified of anything remotely close to resembling a relationship. Even organising to catch up on a weekend.
So this year, if the man for me is out there, he is going to have realise that I am doing my own shit! So if he is willing to put the hard yards in, as I am, them I am willing to let him into my life. Otherwise, there is door. Piss off and leave me the fuck alone!
Life is too short to be miserable. That is my life's mantra.
Life is too short to be miserable!
