My train ride to Varanasi was SHITE!!!

There are no words to explain how crap an overnight train can be.

My biggest problem was that it was a third class cart, not second like promised by our tour guide and company. God bless them!

Second problem with this train ride was that it had three bunks, not two, on each side, and thirdly, and most importantly, I got shafted. In a democratic country, usually you get to vote and decide who sleeps where but didn't happen and I – who suffers from claustrophobia – got stuck in the middle bunk which was so close to me face that shallow breathing was the only way to get through a train ride. And being five foot, six-ish, and the bed being five foot made it a little bit uncomfortable... just a little.

I didn't sleep at all as my feet kept getting bashed by people walking past and the door slamming on my feet, and anytime I would bring my legs up, back spasms occurred... so no sleep for me. No sleeping, does not make me a happy person. Makes me very angry, angry person. Whatever! Move on. P.S I am writing this entry in past tense (my back spasms have come and gone)... but at the time you know how you feel and that's what comes out.

I couldn't really because the back spasms kept coming for the next three days, making it very difficult to manoeuvre around and check out the sights of Varanasi and Sarnath.

So a little bit on Varanasi … its one of India's seven holiest cities and sits on the River Ganges, and is apparently the oldest city in the world. That's about it. There is more but then there is always more.

So we get on a rickshaw and make our way towards the evening prayer ceremony on the banks of the Holy River Ganges. The ride through Varanasi is a trip all on it own. Our driver/ride manoeuvre his way through the bloody busy traffic of the city, weaving his way through, while I held on tight to the small metal bar on the side of the vehicle, the only thing I can hold on to. It was fantastic.

After he stops at the steps through the market. We wander through and sit overlooking the ceremony where six men dressed in Hindu priest clothing (maroon and orange) pray to the gurus with incense, candles and song. Its quite impressive. Everyone is humming and chatting along.

The spot where I was standing was the same place where a terrorist bomb exploded and killed several people. Yeah that's a little bit of detail you want to hear! We get to watch the prayer ceremony before we head back to the hotel but not before walking into a dark alleyway, with no lighting and a little bit of fear. We stood in the middle of a square, filled with rickshaws, drivers and no real idea what the hell we were doing in there.

After getting the hell out of there we go to bed only to wake up yet again at 6.30am for our ride on the River Ganges. People use the Ganges for all sort of things, some burn/cremate their loved ones, others jump into the water to bless themselves, other mediate, while the rest wash their clothes. Its black, muddy, and sludgy but there is nothing like it in Australia.

The only issue I have with tours is the shitty part where you are forced to go to a factory. God damn it! The thing is it happpens on every tour. They deliver you to a place where the tour guide makes a commission if you buy something. I buy nothing. Its always cheaper elsewhere. Always is. I didnt buy anything from the marble factory, the carpet factory, the jewellery high end factory store, and the silk factory. I wish they wouldn't do it but what can you do! I know everyone else hated it but I only expected it and enjoyed the ride. You smile, nod and be polite, just the way your parents taught you. No point in being rude, moody and out right offensive. Carpet factory was pretty good....

Fast forward and we arrive in Agra at midnight.

I am so tired that all I want to do is sleep and as we arrive and hand over our passports, yet again, we learn that our hotel has put up a feast for us. A course after course of food at midnight! No, no. no. I want a bed! And a bed I went to. I bailed – I know its rude and you should take the offer of food but I just couldn't keep eyes open – and I hit the pillow only to get up at 6.30am.

This is why I came to India... Taj Mahal baby!

I have been waiting five days to finally see the Taj Mahal, the tomb of Shajahan's favourite wife, Mumutaz-Mahal, who borne him 14 children. 14 KIDS! Bloody hell! No one wonder she died from health problems.

OK kids I am going to give you a brief history lesson of this big beautiful building and seventh wonder of the world!

Constructed from 1681 and completed in 1653, and constructed by 20,000 burly workers. The building is dedicated to Shan Jahan's third wife who died giving birth to their 14th child. According to historians, it is believed on her last breath, her husband promised to build a monument in her memory. The Taj Mahal, sits on the banks of the River Yamuna and features 28 different semi-precious and precious stones.

The marble walls of the Taj Mahal change colour with the time of the day – dawn its pale pink, noon, its white, and sunset, its golden. The gardens with their dark green cypresses and water channels are part of this beautiful building, and then the mosque, which looks over the River Yamuna... now when I went inside and was perfectly honest, not really amazed.

The Taj Mahal itself is stunning and breathtakingly beautiful. I swear it is better than any other building I've even visited in the world, and I've travelled A LOT!

I think the reason why its so beautiful is that it has a romantic story behind it. What woman wouldn't want her husband, boyfriend, lover to build her a building in her honour.

Hell, a box of chocolate and a slap on the arse will do for me!

Anyway after reading all about the Taj Mahal, watching documentaries, and everything in between and it still doesn't do it justice. Seriously people, if you get a chance, visit to Taj Mahal. Its unbelievable.

Don't bag out my home town and then say hey how are you?!?!

Before I continue with my blogs about my Indian and Thailand trip, I thought an update on where things were at with the boy was in order...

So after hadn't heard from this guy i was not seeing, I decided that an email was in order. See I am not good at communicating with men, face to face because as a former fat girl, interacting with men was never my strong point.

I can do pretty much anything else but when it comes to feelings... nope you've got me there.

I am Baby from Dirty Dancing, with a watermelon. I have watermelon moments every time!

So I sent the email the day before Australia Day and ask him to clarify if we are friends. I press send and then that's that.

I thought he would call me straight away or at least email me a response.

Two weeks later, and still nothing.

But wait after deciding that he had died in a tragic fairy floss accident, he calls. At this point, I have made my peace and can't be bothered answering his call.

I will remind you that it has been two weeks and no reply... please come on, you can see it from my point of view on this point? See I thought he saw the email and said 'thanks, but no thanks' and yet here he was calling me, two weeks to the day of the email (kudos for calling).

The next day, after much deliberations and questioning about why I needed to speak to him, he calls again and this time I answer. At this point, I had decided that nothing he could say would change my mind and make me not want to slap him with a wet fish but I answered the call because I needed to know why.

He started with small chit chat about the weather, how he had spent time in Sydney and doing his renovations. I smiled, nodded and occasionally answered his various stupid questions and then the Canberra bashing happened.

Now, I am used to it but you've left my email unanswered for two weeks and now you are bashing my home town. Yeah Canberra can be perceived as clicky, insular and isolating but that's to people who are incapable of making an effort, are dull or have nothing to add.

If you want to make new friends and give your new city a go, you have to be the one that makes the effort; not the other way around. This is exactly what I said to him. word for word.

He then decides that he wants me to explain my email, I do not. I've done enough talking. The spotlight is now on him and its his turn to reply... its not good. He said he just opened the email (lie number one), and that he wanted to be friends but he did like me but couldn't see past that (lie number two).

I explained to him that he has been dishonest and lied right from the beginning. He says he didn't mislead me, and I refute that by reminding him he joined a dating website. End of discussion.

I explained to him that I am honest and upfront kind of person, and am that way with my family and friends. And I get that in return. He has lied right from the beginning and that's that. If you can't be honest with someone you clearly like (and spend nearly ever weekend with her, and take her out to dinner, meet the family etc) then I don't want to know you. Without honesty, what's the point!

And that's the end of that discussion.

And the touries are off...

After watching Masterchef India before bedtime, we have an early start for a day tour of New and Old Delhi on a bus with the sign (tourist) because we want a giant target sign on a vehicle zipping through a country that had a travel warning on it?!!

The Friday Mosque built on an outcrop of rock near the Red Fort and the tallest mosque in India with a 100 square metre courtyard surrounded by colonnades (Kumuka's words, not mine).

My words.... I wore a moo moo. What the hell!?!

I wore a long sleeved cardigan, a high top underneath, socks on my feet … so basically nothing was showing and yet I needed to be wearing a bright pink moo moo with white polka dots on it. Yeah got a picture in your mind... because I looked like a tool.

Anyway Jama Masjid (which means Friday Mosque) is quite stunning as it has the long beautiful stairs leading up to these red walls. I think what made it all quite visually beautiful was the dense fog sitting on the city (mixed with a hint of pollution) which gave it a little bit of a (insert scary movie alternative word) feel to it.

While we only had a few hours to spare in Delhi we also visited the memorial garden to Mahatma Ghandi where we were greeted by a crowd of school kids who wanted to pose with our touries and then ended up singing us a song. It was quite sweet. At this point, i thought this was adnormal, by the end I got used to all the looks, cameras, posing and confusion.

After that, we jump on to our tour bus and drive for the next six hours to Jaipur, trying to amuse ourselves with books (me, Russell Brand's new book where he writes about him being an ass), sleeping and chatting with my touries.

We had a New Zealander (on her first international holiday... she visited Australia but it doesn't really count), a Brit, two South Africans (one born in Germany, spent most of his time in Russia), a Canadian (living in Hong Kong), and then four Australians in total (including my gorgeous friend Sam and I).

Sounds like a bit of a joke, a New Zealander, South African and a Canadian walk into a bar...

Anyway after six long bloody hours we get the to Jaipur, capital of the northern India state of Rajasthan or internationally known as the Pink City.

Our first stop was a shaking run across a busy road to get a view of the Hawa Mahal. To get to this building, we had to cross a one way road filled with bicycles, cars, rickshaws, passengers, buses. I have to admit I screamed like a little girl as I dodged all these modes of transport to look at the building.

Hawa Mahal is pink (go figure) with multiple-coloured windows where the Maharajah's royal ladies (or basically to put it blatantly, easy girls) watched festive processions and other events behind windows, so they were not seen by the public. Nice!!

We make our way to Jaipur's Amber Fort via our personal jeep, driven by the one and only Baba, who had the unfortunate task of driving up a steep hill. The Amber Fort features the silver door Temple of Kali, the Audience Chamber (coupled with a ceiling of beautifully crafted mirrors) and the Hall of Pleasure. ;-)

While the Fort was fantastic, our trip to it was quite amusing. Our New Zealand friend began her innocently flirting with poor Baba (who was married too) … I must explain she is a very friendly person and really enjoys interacting with people. So what looked like flirting was probably chatting to her. More on our amusing New Zealand friend later.

I just have to make note of the delicious food... Butter Chicken, Aloo, Garlic, plain and introducing cheese naan (how I love thee and miss thee), paratha, dumplings (the sweet version... can't remember the name) … I can keep going about the food but if I do I might have to go out right now and find an Indian take-out.

I will be strong.

P.S I had to include the picture of the goats wearing clothes... apparently they were cold. Makes sense. Goats need to keep warm, clothes provide warmth, so dress the goats.

Incredible India

When the ads appears on television saying Incredible India they are not kidding.

I spent an incredible ten days in India and loved every minute of it.

Although back in Australia I can speak with love and admiration for India, getting to it proved very long and difficult - a 20 hour flight is what I am talking.

Saying so long, farewell to Sydney, we board our Emirates flight from Sydney and get comfortable in our economy seats (believe me I was trying to be friendly with the travel desk to get myself a fee upgrade to first class but sadly there was no slow motion, victory music, while the travel desk handed over my first class ticket). Those dastards! :-)

So we fly Sydney to Bangkok, Bangkok to Delhi and I jump for joy (Jetstar style) for my first breathe of fresh air in 20 hours and curse the fact that at some point I have to get on another plane again!

So my initial reaction to Delhi... looks like Cairo. This only makes sense to me because I travelled to Egypt for Christmas and New Year and all I saw for about five kilometres was dirt, people digging holes, road rules ignored by everyone and a driver that insists on speeding at the speed of sound in his pseudo Holden marina (OK not the speed of sound but you get what I mean).

So how did I spend Christmas Day 2010, well I was half asleep and in desperate need of a shower. I mean desperate!!! It's one of those basics in life that being clean can make you feel 100 per cent, despite the fact you've slept for two hours and watched movies back to back.

Anyway I am digressing, so after meeting our touries (tour group) we headed off to bed and prepared for the day of Delhi sightseeing....


Come on did you think i would write all about India in one blog?

I don't think so