Only I am doing it with a better hair do and smile. ;-)
I'm off to India for Christmas and New Year's Eve/Day, and then its Bangkok and Thailand for a week and a half of cocktails, Thai food, beaches, markets, more food, and definitely more cocktails.
Be sure to tune in.
Three weeks from now I will have a plenty of stories.
xoxo
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
What is the best and worst Christmas present you have ever received?
Ah Christmas, time for giving and spending time with loved ones.
It’s a time for drinking copious amounts of alcohol and eating your weight in food.
It’s a time to battle the shops, trying in vain to find a present for someone who has everything.
A present for someone who returns everything you buy, and can do it without a receipt.
A present for someone who lives in gadget land and anything you buy is already so six months ago and they managed to find something better online, and overseas.
A present for someone who doesn’t want anything but beer, chocolate, and more chocolate.
So this year I get to escape it all and head overseas for India. My happy place.
I get to avoid unwrapping yet another useless piece of overpriced crap made in China.
So what’s the worst present you ever received?
My best worst year, I received:
* a bottle of waterbed conditioner
* a packet of Willy Wonka blackcurrant sugar lollies
* Kath and Kim DVDs (now I like the show but I would only watch it if there was nothing else on television), and
* the crème de la crème – a Jane Fonda mother daughter relationship book.
This was all I got for Christmas.
The presents I got for everyone else was absolutely fantastic that the words used were ‘awesome’ ‘you out did yourself this year’ and ‘this Christmas rocks!!’.
I decided to yell out
THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!!
And then hit the Sangria punch and drank, and drank and drank all my troubles away. At 10am! It’s all good, it had juice and fruit in it so it wasn’t all bad.
From then on, I decided Christmas was going to be about eating, being merry and enjoying each other’s company. No more presents. I also made sure I never drove and that there was plenty of alcohol to go around.
Probably the main issue is an Italian Christmas is not as simple as one might think. Or is just my Italian Christmas that is filled with food, alcohol, food, unaddressed family issues and lots of screaming and yelling (and this is just us talking).
And the best part of Italian Christmas 2010 is that I’M NOT HERE FOR IT! And while I will miss my family and the beautiful lunch my mother cooks every year, I am looking forward to spending three weeks with my wonderful and fantastic friend, Samantha.
So what’s the best, and the worst present you have ever received?
It’s a time for drinking copious amounts of alcohol and eating your weight in food.
It’s a time to battle the shops, trying in vain to find a present for someone who has everything.
A present for someone who returns everything you buy, and can do it without a receipt.
A present for someone who lives in gadget land and anything you buy is already so six months ago and they managed to find something better online, and overseas.
A present for someone who doesn’t want anything but beer, chocolate, and more chocolate.
So this year I get to escape it all and head overseas for India. My happy place.
I get to avoid unwrapping yet another useless piece of overpriced crap made in China.
So what’s the worst present you ever received?
My best worst year, I received:
* a bottle of waterbed conditioner
* a packet of Willy Wonka blackcurrant sugar lollies
* Kath and Kim DVDs (now I like the show but I would only watch it if there was nothing else on television), and
* the crème de la crème – a Jane Fonda mother daughter relationship book.
This was all I got for Christmas.
The presents I got for everyone else was absolutely fantastic that the words used were ‘awesome’ ‘you out did yourself this year’ and ‘this Christmas rocks!!’.
I decided to yell out
THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!!
And then hit the Sangria punch and drank, and drank and drank all my troubles away. At 10am! It’s all good, it had juice and fruit in it so it wasn’t all bad.
From then on, I decided Christmas was going to be about eating, being merry and enjoying each other’s company. No more presents. I also made sure I never drove and that there was plenty of alcohol to go around.
Probably the main issue is an Italian Christmas is not as simple as one might think. Or is just my Italian Christmas that is filled with food, alcohol, food, unaddressed family issues and lots of screaming and yelling (and this is just us talking).
And the best part of Italian Christmas 2010 is that I’M NOT HERE FOR IT! And while I will miss my family and the beautiful lunch my mother cooks every year, I am looking forward to spending three weeks with my wonderful and fantastic friend, Samantha.
So what’s the best, and the worst present you have ever received?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Figuring out men can't be this hard
Looks like a date.
Walks like a date.
Smells like a date.
Eats like a date.
But it’s no date.
I am dating no one.
See that makes no sense without any background so I will lay my heart on my sleeve and put it all out there and hopefully (you will be kind) and maybe give me an idea as what is actually happening.
I met this guy two months ago via a dating website.
We emailed and emailed and emailed until we met in person.
This man is shy but very sweet and has lovely arms (big fan of that) and is kind.
So we go on non date number one which is at a local café, an institution if I may call it, Gus Café in the city of Canberra. The non date was just supposed to be a coffee and ended up being dinner and more drinks. It was probably the best non date I have ever been on. It was so easy and comfortable. No awkward moments. Before the non date ended, he had already organised another one.
Second and third non dates were quite similar – drink, dinner and more drinks but no touching, no attempt to brush my hand or arm at any point.
Fourth non date was a walk around Lake Burley Griffin, the Kingston Markets and then the sharing of food while we walked back around the lake. Non date ended but not before another one was set up (but again no attempt to show any affection).
Fifth non date was at a local country show and I decided the gloves were off. I was going to make to flirt (and please note, I cannot flirt and find it very difficult) so it went like this… we delicately nudged each other while we joked (for me, it was to make physical contact with him; no idea what he was on about). Then he wanted me to see the house he bought nearby so we walked together and I stayed close and ‘accidentally’ brushed his hand; he didn’t try to touch my hand.
Then as he walked me to my car and I had taken one of his flowers from his house, I smelt the flower and very subtly held it to my nose and smelt it, and then held it to his to smell, while keeping my eyes on him. And NOTHING!
So I kissed him goodbye on the cheek and as I moved to my car, he suggested catching up again… I think this is the pattern.
Skip to the eighth date and I was invited to a family birthday dinner. His younger brother was celebrating his birthday with his girlfriend and best friend and I was invited. Now to me meeting family is serious… FOR A FREAKING EIGTH DATE! WITH NO KISS!
I don’t get it. When it ended, I stood there, ready and waiting for the kiss to happen. I was standing close (very close) and NOTHING!!! What the fuck! Sorry about the language but seriously! I don’t get it, I just don’t get it.
Without tooting my horn, I am not unattractive, I have a great set of breasts that I am quite proud of and have complemented on in the past, by past boyfriends too, and my arse is nice and high. SO WHAT THE HELL!?!
I need help. I need to know if I am misreading the signs and the man is just interested in friendship. And, I must tell you, if he is, I am a happy with that too. He is a very sweet man, whom I would love to have a friend if that was all on offer.
Obviously, I would like more.
So do I ask the question, I do not want to ask… are we just friends or is something more?
No one likes to put themselves out there; especially me.
I am confident with every other aspect of my life but when it comes to men, I have absolutely no fucking idea. Sorry about the language but it I need to emphasise how crap I am with getting any attention from the opposite sex.
So, your thoughts?
Is this man friend? Or more?
Walks like a date.
Smells like a date.
Eats like a date.
But it’s no date.
I am dating no one.
See that makes no sense without any background so I will lay my heart on my sleeve and put it all out there and hopefully (you will be kind) and maybe give me an idea as what is actually happening.
I met this guy two months ago via a dating website.
We emailed and emailed and emailed until we met in person.
This man is shy but very sweet and has lovely arms (big fan of that) and is kind.
So we go on non date number one which is at a local café, an institution if I may call it, Gus Café in the city of Canberra. The non date was just supposed to be a coffee and ended up being dinner and more drinks. It was probably the best non date I have ever been on. It was so easy and comfortable. No awkward moments. Before the non date ended, he had already organised another one.
Second and third non dates were quite similar – drink, dinner and more drinks but no touching, no attempt to brush my hand or arm at any point.
Fourth non date was a walk around Lake Burley Griffin, the Kingston Markets and then the sharing of food while we walked back around the lake. Non date ended but not before another one was set up (but again no attempt to show any affection).
Fifth non date was at a local country show and I decided the gloves were off. I was going to make to flirt (and please note, I cannot flirt and find it very difficult) so it went like this… we delicately nudged each other while we joked (for me, it was to make physical contact with him; no idea what he was on about). Then he wanted me to see the house he bought nearby so we walked together and I stayed close and ‘accidentally’ brushed his hand; he didn’t try to touch my hand.
Then as he walked me to my car and I had taken one of his flowers from his house, I smelt the flower and very subtly held it to my nose and smelt it, and then held it to his to smell, while keeping my eyes on him. And NOTHING!
So I kissed him goodbye on the cheek and as I moved to my car, he suggested catching up again… I think this is the pattern.
Skip to the eighth date and I was invited to a family birthday dinner. His younger brother was celebrating his birthday with his girlfriend and best friend and I was invited. Now to me meeting family is serious… FOR A FREAKING EIGTH DATE! WITH NO KISS!
I don’t get it. When it ended, I stood there, ready and waiting for the kiss to happen. I was standing close (very close) and NOTHING!!! What the fuck! Sorry about the language but seriously! I don’t get it, I just don’t get it.
Without tooting my horn, I am not unattractive, I have a great set of breasts that I am quite proud of and have complemented on in the past, by past boyfriends too, and my arse is nice and high. SO WHAT THE HELL!?!
I need help. I need to know if I am misreading the signs and the man is just interested in friendship. And, I must tell you, if he is, I am a happy with that too. He is a very sweet man, whom I would love to have a friend if that was all on offer.
Obviously, I would like more.
So do I ask the question, I do not want to ask… are we just friends or is something more?
No one likes to put themselves out there; especially me.
I am confident with every other aspect of my life but when it comes to men, I have absolutely no fucking idea. Sorry about the language but it I need to emphasise how crap I am with getting any attention from the opposite sex.
So, your thoughts?
Is this man friend? Or more?
Monday, November 15, 2010
In 40 days or so...
In 40 days or so I am going to be on a plane on my way to India and need help.
I’ve heard travel stories.
Googled pictures.
Read my share of articles.
And they have not relayed my fears that I need to get two injections, swallow malaria tablets and take deep breathes to prevent me from snapping from the shear force of it all.
That force being 1 billion people in India.
THERE ARE OVER ONE BILLION INDIANS! OH MY GOD!
I come from Australia = population 22 million.
Canberra = 300,000
Me = 1
So the objective is to get a sense of calm before the doors of the plane open because I have heard had some stories - good, bad and the ugly - and honestly I am slightly concerned that I might be overwhelmed by the whole thing.
So I ask you the question:
So what to pack for a trip to India in December/January? I have a nine day tour of Jaipur, Taj Mahal, Varanasi and Delhi.
Any thing I need to avoid?
Any markets I should keep my eye out for?
Any help would be much appreciated.
I’ve heard travel stories.
Googled pictures.
Read my share of articles.
And they have not relayed my fears that I need to get two injections, swallow malaria tablets and take deep breathes to prevent me from snapping from the shear force of it all.
That force being 1 billion people in India.
THERE ARE OVER ONE BILLION INDIANS! OH MY GOD!
I come from Australia = population 22 million.
Canberra = 300,000
Me = 1
So the objective is to get a sense of calm before the doors of the plane open because I have heard had some stories - good, bad and the ugly - and honestly I am slightly concerned that I might be overwhelmed by the whole thing.
So I ask you the question:
So what to pack for a trip to India in December/January? I have a nine day tour of Jaipur, Taj Mahal, Varanasi and Delhi.
Any thing I need to avoid?
Any markets I should keep my eye out for?
Any help would be much appreciated.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
I said what??
I never thought I would, at the tender age of 28 years, use this sentence:
"When I was 22, I …
Oh dear god!
I have become an old fart at the age of 28.
What the hell happened to me?
The thing is, it has all been brought on by a 22 year old person, whom will remain nameless, who for the past two weeks decided to use the little power she has in the office to push me, and my work colleagues, around.
I have 10 years on her in experience in the industry.
I have worked from the very bottom, and slowly worked my way up to a job that I didn’t know actually existed, and paid you for it.
And don’t get me started on maturity because she is lacking any of it.
Yet this week, this young woman was able to throw the little power she had around (because her was away) and treat people like garbage.
I have no respect for her whatsoever so when she yells, sighs, huffs, slams the phone and belittles me, it’s like water off a duck’s back. You can only get angry with someone if you respect them. My only problem with her is she is incompetent and makes my work colleagues, some with 25 years experience, question if they are doing a good job.
No one has the right to make someone feel worthless.
No one has the right to bully or harass anyone.
And a 22 year old puppy has no right to criticise anyone when she continues to make mistake after mistake after mistake, and no one is allowed to question it.
This is only refuge to question it because everyone doesn’t want to get involved or just turns a blind eye and thinks ‘why bother?’
That kind of attitude just pisses me off.
I don’t do that, yet I am forced to do it because I am not manager, and am not high enough in the food chain to make any change, even a small one.
In my personal life, I am complete the opposite.
I am committed to making change in my life and if my friends want that too, I support them 100 per cent.
You can’t sit by and let the world pass, and then bitch and moan about how it’s all too hard and you can’t do anything.
I don’t believe that attitude is healthy for one’s mental health and its not healthy for others to hear it.
I only speak for myself. Always have, always will.
I only provide an opinion when my friends or work colleagues ask for it. I don’t ram it down anyone’s throat because who is to say I am right, or wrong.
My issue today is when did become acceptable to allow a 22 year old to belittle someone and treat people with utter disdain? And really her answer has been because I can.
And while that comment enrages me, I remind myself that I come into work because I love to write, I love the people I work with (they are truly fantastic and gifted people) and I know what I do actually impacts someone, an individual, a family, a group, or an organisation.
And that is why when I pick up the phone and the 22 year old starts barking at me, I remind myself that I have maturity and confidence in my ability to a bloody good job.
How about you?
Have you across someone who has treated you this way? Or been part of the audience?
What action did you take?
"When I was 22, I …
Oh dear god!
I have become an old fart at the age of 28.
What the hell happened to me?
The thing is, it has all been brought on by a 22 year old person, whom will remain nameless, who for the past two weeks decided to use the little power she has in the office to push me, and my work colleagues, around.
I have 10 years on her in experience in the industry.
I have worked from the very bottom, and slowly worked my way up to a job that I didn’t know actually existed, and paid you for it.
And don’t get me started on maturity because she is lacking any of it.
Yet this week, this young woman was able to throw the little power she had around (because her was away) and treat people like garbage.
I have no respect for her whatsoever so when she yells, sighs, huffs, slams the phone and belittles me, it’s like water off a duck’s back. You can only get angry with someone if you respect them. My only problem with her is she is incompetent and makes my work colleagues, some with 25 years experience, question if they are doing a good job.
No one has the right to make someone feel worthless.
No one has the right to bully or harass anyone.
And a 22 year old puppy has no right to criticise anyone when she continues to make mistake after mistake after mistake, and no one is allowed to question it.
This is only refuge to question it because everyone doesn’t want to get involved or just turns a blind eye and thinks ‘why bother?’
That kind of attitude just pisses me off.
I don’t do that, yet I am forced to do it because I am not manager, and am not high enough in the food chain to make any change, even a small one.
In my personal life, I am complete the opposite.
I am committed to making change in my life and if my friends want that too, I support them 100 per cent.
You can’t sit by and let the world pass, and then bitch and moan about how it’s all too hard and you can’t do anything.
I don’t believe that attitude is healthy for one’s mental health and its not healthy for others to hear it.
I only speak for myself. Always have, always will.
I only provide an opinion when my friends or work colleagues ask for it. I don’t ram it down anyone’s throat because who is to say I am right, or wrong.
My issue today is when did become acceptable to allow a 22 year old to belittle someone and treat people with utter disdain? And really her answer has been because I can.
And while that comment enrages me, I remind myself that I come into work because I love to write, I love the people I work with (they are truly fantastic and gifted people) and I know what I do actually impacts someone, an individual, a family, a group, or an organisation.
And that is why when I pick up the phone and the 22 year old starts barking at me, I remind myself that I have maturity and confidence in my ability to a bloody good job.
How about you?
Have you across someone who has treated you this way? Or been part of the audience?
What action did you take?
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Ode to Canberra drivers
This is my ode to the Canberra driver.
To the driver that merges correctly, without any delay or stress to the other driver or themselves, I thank you.
To the driver that enters a roundabout without any trepidation or any desire to change lanes halfway or cut off other drivers or just doesn't look when entering the roundabout, I thank you.
However, I wish to point to the other Canberra drivers that I am not thankful for the Sunday driver. This driver drives like its Sunday but seven days a week, they drive 10 kilometres under the speed limit in the fast lane, while trying to look at their GPS and still getting it wrong.
I ask why are you allowed to drive? Why are you allowed to be on the road?
I also ask you to please remain off the road for the benefit of everyone else.
Then there is the driver who attempts to park but doesn’t quite manage to park (a) straight (b) in between their designated lines or (c) without scratching my car. Thanks, alot!!! You cost me $200 bucks.
Then there is the driver who thinks they are so special that they have to talk on their mobile while travelling 100 kilometres an hour down a highway instead of just calling the person back.
Just a reminder, you are not the Prime Minister, the President or a F1 driver. You are not that special. The world will not end if you don’t answer that phone call straight away.
See I am one of those drivers who has been guilty one of these errors … answering the phone but I have hands free so there! I do it ever so rarely.
Why! Why of why! Must Canberra drivers drive like they have their blinkers on, with dark shades at night while closing their eyes? WHY?
Every time I get on the road I see yet another idiot driving like there is no tomorrow, and as if they got their licence off a cornflakes box!
And don’t get my started on the dicks who do up their Hyundai Excels or Holden Barinas and think they are real men! Please! You’re just a little man with nappies still on.
Or to the girl who sticks a Bad Girl sticker on her Barina and thinks she is all that and a bag of chips. No, you're not. You need a kick up the arse.
This is my ode to Canberra drivers… I just want to please get off the road and leave us be.
To the driver that merges correctly, without any delay or stress to the other driver or themselves, I thank you.
To the driver that enters a roundabout without any trepidation or any desire to change lanes halfway or cut off other drivers or just doesn't look when entering the roundabout, I thank you.
However, I wish to point to the other Canberra drivers that I am not thankful for the Sunday driver. This driver drives like its Sunday but seven days a week, they drive 10 kilometres under the speed limit in the fast lane, while trying to look at their GPS and still getting it wrong.
I ask why are you allowed to drive? Why are you allowed to be on the road?
I also ask you to please remain off the road for the benefit of everyone else.
Then there is the driver who attempts to park but doesn’t quite manage to park (a) straight (b) in between their designated lines or (c) without scratching my car. Thanks, alot!!! You cost me $200 bucks.
Then there is the driver who thinks they are so special that they have to talk on their mobile while travelling 100 kilometres an hour down a highway instead of just calling the person back.
Just a reminder, you are not the Prime Minister, the President or a F1 driver. You are not that special. The world will not end if you don’t answer that phone call straight away.
See I am one of those drivers who has been guilty one of these errors … answering the phone but I have hands free so there! I do it ever so rarely.
Why! Why of why! Must Canberra drivers drive like they have their blinkers on, with dark shades at night while closing their eyes? WHY?
Every time I get on the road I see yet another idiot driving like there is no tomorrow, and as if they got their licence off a cornflakes box!
And don’t get my started on the dicks who do up their Hyundai Excels or Holden Barinas and think they are real men! Please! You’re just a little man with nappies still on.
Or to the girl who sticks a Bad Girl sticker on her Barina and thinks she is all that and a bag of chips. No, you're not. You need a kick up the arse.
This is my ode to Canberra drivers… I just want to please get off the road and leave us be.
Monday, August 30, 2010
The craziness of moving into my own home can send anyone bonkers!
So moving into your new home should be stress-free?
It should be if you're an organised person.
I am one of those kind of people but it seems people around me, are not.
So day one of the big move was riddled with me either rolling my eyes, gasping, and chucking silent tantrums.
The first hurdle was when I walked into my brother's bathroom to find something quite disturbing... a floor covered with dust, hair and outright disgusting boy dirtyness all around me.
Boys are gross. No real concept of hygiene.
After that horrible image and the fact i ran screaming from the room, I continuing jamming box after box into my little Ford Focus.
I had everything ready and as I arrived at new place, i found out that the electricity was out, even though I set up an account up a week before.
I found out that some moron at my local electricity business forgot to put the fuse in the box.
They didn't think I was moving into my place. So when I explained to them that when I set up the account did they not think I or someone was moving into the apartment? No response. Just a stupid 12 year old on the other end giving me shit about how she understands my situation and that she wants to work through it.
NO! I dont need to work through it. What I need is the twit to use common sense and put the electricity on.
That was the first rolling of the eyes and silent tantrum.
They assured me that electricity would be on between the hours of 9am and 5pm. Great! Fantastic. Exaxctly what I wanted to hear. Grrrggghhh!!
After unpacking my stuff in my apartment which was freezing because of Canberra's bitter winter, I conceded defeat and trudge back to brother's place to warm up.
At 6:30 on a Friday night, my local electricity gurus called me to tell me my electricity was on.
BRILLIANT!
FANTASTIC!
DESPITE THE POINT I WASN'T THERE AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SET UP A WEEK EARLIER! (Sorry for the yelling.)
But after eight months of waiting, with one disaster after another, I finally let the rubber band snapped. It was wonderfully crazy but worth it.
Because I am worth it!
So now as I sit in the middle of my lounge room, with smurf bed sheets covering my windows as makeshift curtains, I am slowly starting to feel the warmth of being in my own home.
My own home. How wonderful is that!
Plus the smurf bed sheets keep me amused, along with the neighbours.
It should be if you're an organised person.
I am one of those kind of people but it seems people around me, are not.
So day one of the big move was riddled with me either rolling my eyes, gasping, and chucking silent tantrums.
The first hurdle was when I walked into my brother's bathroom to find something quite disturbing... a floor covered with dust, hair and outright disgusting boy dirtyness all around me.
Boys are gross. No real concept of hygiene.
After that horrible image and the fact i ran screaming from the room, I continuing jamming box after box into my little Ford Focus.
I had everything ready and as I arrived at new place, i found out that the electricity was out, even though I set up an account up a week before.
I found out that some moron at my local electricity business forgot to put the fuse in the box.
They didn't think I was moving into my place. So when I explained to them that when I set up the account did they not think I or someone was moving into the apartment? No response. Just a stupid 12 year old on the other end giving me shit about how she understands my situation and that she wants to work through it.
NO! I dont need to work through it. What I need is the twit to use common sense and put the electricity on.
That was the first rolling of the eyes and silent tantrum.
They assured me that electricity would be on between the hours of 9am and 5pm. Great! Fantastic. Exaxctly what I wanted to hear. Grrrggghhh!!
After unpacking my stuff in my apartment which was freezing because of Canberra's bitter winter, I conceded defeat and trudge back to brother's place to warm up.
At 6:30 on a Friday night, my local electricity gurus called me to tell me my electricity was on.
BRILLIANT!
FANTASTIC!
DESPITE THE POINT I WASN'T THERE AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SET UP A WEEK EARLIER! (Sorry for the yelling.)
But after eight months of waiting, with one disaster after another, I finally let the rubber band snapped. It was wonderfully crazy but worth it.
Because I am worth it!
So now as I sit in the middle of my lounge room, with smurf bed sheets covering my windows as makeshift curtains, I am slowly starting to feel the warmth of being in my own home.
My own home. How wonderful is that!
Plus the smurf bed sheets keep me amused, along with the neighbours.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Packing is a bitch!!
God damn! Can I just say that packing is a bitch!
I spent the entire weekend packing all my stuff into boxes... well not all weekend.
I did manage to go out one night with the girls and dance it up at 80s night at Transit. Love it!
Nothing beats dancing Wham, Europe, Sir Mixalot, Salt n' Pepa, the list goes on.
But after I wander through the door at 3am and then slept in till 11am, I couldn't avoid the packing any more.
Well I did avoid for a few more hours until I had to start and within a few hours I strained my back and ended up watching DVDs and being creative. I bought some buttons and fabric and sewed new things onto old jumpers... to spruce things up.
I hate packing.
It's such a pain in the arse.
It's the second time I have had to pack in one year... and the year isn't even over yet. Not even close!
Still, I am moving into my own place.
My own home.
My space.
No one, and I mean no one, will be allowed in if they are critical, mean, a clean freak, feel threatened by me, or people who don't like my friends, my boyfriends or even me.
My happy place.
I can do what I please.
I am actually finally getting excited about moving into my own home.
I have waited eight months to move in and now its finally here.
Eight long freaking months!
I must sign off as I have to go back to packing... again!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Silver hoop earrings
 | |
| silver hoop earrings (i have seen these earrings in shops and thought about buying them and now, | I DONT HAVE TO!! YAY) |
My jewellery making efforts part one
 |
| My first bracelet (by the way i nearly chucked this out the window because i was driving me crazy) |
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
When did it get all so hard?
I have been keeping a secret, my parents have decided that they need some time apart and after over 30 years of marriage are living in separate houses.
Now they are not calling it a separation, more of time apart while they sort their shit out.
Other than the obvious pain this is causing me, the fact they are not telling anyone is putting immense pressure, emotionally and mentally, on my brothers and I.
Honestly, I can't deal with it any more and the stress is starting to impact my life. And why?
It's not like I didn't see it coming, it was in the making since I was 13 years old... I am now 28. So its no surprise but it still doesn't lessen the pain or shock of their decision.
So tonight I went to dinner at my father's place and I knew he was already in a bad mood the moment I walked in. I sat down, did the small talk and then my brother made a snippy comment about something and the gloves were off (later he admitted that he was dealing with some personal shit, nothing to do with the family but still that was said later).
I then talked about place-mats and mentioned something about ones you can find that are easy to wipe down than clothes mats but I had to say it twice and sighed. My father saw it as a criticism of him and that I thought he was going into dementia. Whereas I saw it as maybe I was talking too fast and needed to slow down. I have been told I talk way too fast and can turn into mumbling so I said did I talk too fast, he saw the comment as patronising. I don't see why. It was about me talking too fast and I do but still...
Anyway it descended into a crap-hole and my brother and I left. I didn't want to leave it like that but I had no voice and we left. Now I am feeling like shit and guilty. I am reliving the conversation in my head trying to see where I could have shut my mouth and said nothing but I can't tip toe around my family. I won't do it but maybe I have to for a while..
I just need to start distancing myself and getting my life back on track.
I can't be worrying about them because they need to start sorting their shit out between the two of them, and the two of them only.
Arrgggghhhh!!! Life is freaking hard sometimes.
I just want hug them and make it all better but sometimes there is so much a daughter can do.
Now they are not calling it a separation, more of time apart while they sort their shit out.
Other than the obvious pain this is causing me, the fact they are not telling anyone is putting immense pressure, emotionally and mentally, on my brothers and I.
Honestly, I can't deal with it any more and the stress is starting to impact my life. And why?
It's not like I didn't see it coming, it was in the making since I was 13 years old... I am now 28. So its no surprise but it still doesn't lessen the pain or shock of their decision.
So tonight I went to dinner at my father's place and I knew he was already in a bad mood the moment I walked in. I sat down, did the small talk and then my brother made a snippy comment about something and the gloves were off (later he admitted that he was dealing with some personal shit, nothing to do with the family but still that was said later).
I then talked about place-mats and mentioned something about ones you can find that are easy to wipe down than clothes mats but I had to say it twice and sighed. My father saw it as a criticism of him and that I thought he was going into dementia. Whereas I saw it as maybe I was talking too fast and needed to slow down. I have been told I talk way too fast and can turn into mumbling so I said did I talk too fast, he saw the comment as patronising. I don't see why. It was about me talking too fast and I do but still...
Anyway it descended into a crap-hole and my brother and I left. I didn't want to leave it like that but I had no voice and we left. Now I am feeling like shit and guilty. I am reliving the conversation in my head trying to see where I could have shut my mouth and said nothing but I can't tip toe around my family. I won't do it but maybe I have to for a while..
I just need to start distancing myself and getting my life back on track.
I can't be worrying about them because they need to start sorting their shit out between the two of them, and the two of them only.
Arrgggghhhh!!! Life is freaking hard sometimes.
I just want hug them and make it all better but sometimes there is so much a daughter can do.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Why do we do it?
When I was single, I complained about not being in a relationship.
When I was in a relationship, I complained that I wanted to be single.
This thought is not subject to women only, men have the same thought bubbles.
So why do we enter into relationships knowing the majority are doomed to end into tiny broken pieces?
Is it about sex?
Companionship?
Having (a) travel, (b) dinner, (c) movie, (d) sitting in a park buddies.
The fear of dying alone?
Am I missing anything?
I personally don’t have these thought patterns.
I don’t have a fear of dying alone.
I can travel on my own. And have.
I can eat out at restaurants on my own.
I can go to movies on my own.
I can sit in a park on my own.
I have friends and family for companionship.
Ah but last but not least is sex.
You got me there.
Do you need to have a relationship to get it?
As a woman, only wanting that, and nothing else, does it constitute all sorts of slurs on one’s reputation?
If so, why aren’t men subject to the same slurs?
Why do they just get high fives and slaps on the back but women are subjected to slurs such as ‘cheap’, ‘skant’, ‘slut’ or ‘slapper’?
This isn’t the first time this has been brought up.
I am not Germaine Gree.
I only mention it because it hasn’t changed.
Society still hasn’t changed.
It doesn’t matter if Sex and the City revolutionised women in the 21st century, a slut is a slut.
All the Samantha’s in the world can never change how your friends, family and peers see you.
And you won’t ignore it.
Society is built around judging others.
How people see you.
What people think of you.
Everyone wants to be accepted.
Anyone who tells you they don’t care what people think of them … IS A DOWNRIGHT FILTHY LIAR!!!
What do we think?
When I was in a relationship, I complained that I wanted to be single.
This thought is not subject to women only, men have the same thought bubbles.
So why do we enter into relationships knowing the majority are doomed to end into tiny broken pieces?
Is it about sex?
Companionship?
Having (a) travel, (b) dinner, (c) movie, (d) sitting in a park buddies.
The fear of dying alone?
Am I missing anything?
I personally don’t have these thought patterns.
I don’t have a fear of dying alone.
I can travel on my own. And have.
I can eat out at restaurants on my own.
I can go to movies on my own.
I can sit in a park on my own.
I have friends and family for companionship.
Ah but last but not least is sex.
You got me there.
Do you need to have a relationship to get it?
As a woman, only wanting that, and nothing else, does it constitute all sorts of slurs on one’s reputation?
If so, why aren’t men subject to the same slurs?
Why do they just get high fives and slaps on the back but women are subjected to slurs such as ‘cheap’, ‘skant’, ‘slut’ or ‘slapper’?
This isn’t the first time this has been brought up.
I am not Germaine Gree.
I only mention it because it hasn’t changed.
Society still hasn’t changed.
It doesn’t matter if Sex and the City revolutionised women in the 21st century, a slut is a slut.
All the Samantha’s in the world can never change how your friends, family and peers see you.
And you won’t ignore it.
Society is built around judging others.
How people see you.
What people think of you.
Everyone wants to be accepted.
Anyone who tells you they don’t care what people think of them … IS A DOWNRIGHT FILTHY LIAR!!!
What do we think?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Followers? What's going on here?
I am not feeling any love.
I sense that with no followers... possibly this blog is boring.
Feedback would be nice... be kind.
Remember its harder to be a bitch then it is to say a nice word.
Hugs!!
I sense that with no followers... possibly this blog is boring.
Feedback would be nice... be kind.
Remember its harder to be a bitch then it is to say a nice word.
Hugs!!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
They really should tell you that shit up front!
Right I have been on three dates with this man and thought there was potential for something until I went on the fourth date. Everything changed and ended on the fourth date.
First of all he was ten minutes late and had sent a text saying if I was late he would start without me. A no no. You wait for your date. Even if it means ordering a drink for yourself (and her) and waiting. I don't care if you're supposedly starving, you are never that hungry.
Second I arrive and he isn't there. So I sit down and wait for him, while have a squiz at the menu to see what I wanted to eat. He shows up, sits down, and doesn't even greet me. What the hell!!
Anyway water under the bridge for me, until he started making conversation.
He started talking about people from European backgrounds and his problems with them. Yes I was amazed that he thought it was bright to bring that up when he is sitting across from someone who is of Italian heritage (and he knew it too). For Christ sake! My parents were born in Italy and came over to Australia. But no for this boy (and use the term boy because a man is smarter than that) he starts to claim that Greek people are dodgy and will rip you off, Serbians start wars but don't worry I like Italians. Its a nice country but the southern part is a little slow. WHAT THE HELL!!!!
I managed to eat my food (quickly too) and smiled and said well you have the right to your opinion, even if you are not basing it on anything. He said that his father had apparently been done over by three businesses which happened to be owned by people of Greek heritage and that was enough for him to be racist.
Me thinks that at this point a smart man would shut the hell up but no this is a boy and an idiot. He proceeded to talk about women who work and he prefers them to stay at home. This was the final straw and I quickly swallowed my wine and asked for the bill.
His response was 'oh this is awkward' and 'I am only stirring'! No. No. No. This isn't stirring this is being racist and discriminatory. A boy with a view that women should remain at home with babies and some how that I have a career is something that he isn't comfortable with. Yeah you can jam that with walnuts.
I said bye bye now and went on my merry way. He called while I was driving home, and in the morning too (both times I never answered) and then sent a pathetic text message saying I hope I didn't offend you and that I had fun at dinner.
My response, I was offended and what you said was over the line for me. Said good luck but good bye. As any boy reacts he decided to respond and said that I was overreacting but good luck to me.
Being a racist is a deal breaker for me.
There is no need to being sprouting that shit in the 21st century.
Keep that shit to yourself, no one wants to here you bigoted, racists comments.
And that's why I dumped his arse! I am definitely not sharing my spare time with an idiot.
First of all he was ten minutes late and had sent a text saying if I was late he would start without me. A no no. You wait for your date. Even if it means ordering a drink for yourself (and her) and waiting. I don't care if you're supposedly starving, you are never that hungry.
Second I arrive and he isn't there. So I sit down and wait for him, while have a squiz at the menu to see what I wanted to eat. He shows up, sits down, and doesn't even greet me. What the hell!!
Anyway water under the bridge for me, until he started making conversation.
He started talking about people from European backgrounds and his problems with them. Yes I was amazed that he thought it was bright to bring that up when he is sitting across from someone who is of Italian heritage (and he knew it too). For Christ sake! My parents were born in Italy and came over to Australia. But no for this boy (and use the term boy because a man is smarter than that) he starts to claim that Greek people are dodgy and will rip you off, Serbians start wars but don't worry I like Italians. Its a nice country but the southern part is a little slow. WHAT THE HELL!!!!
I managed to eat my food (quickly too) and smiled and said well you have the right to your opinion, even if you are not basing it on anything. He said that his father had apparently been done over by three businesses which happened to be owned by people of Greek heritage and that was enough for him to be racist.
Me thinks that at this point a smart man would shut the hell up but no this is a boy and an idiot. He proceeded to talk about women who work and he prefers them to stay at home. This was the final straw and I quickly swallowed my wine and asked for the bill.
His response was 'oh this is awkward' and 'I am only stirring'! No. No. No. This isn't stirring this is being racist and discriminatory. A boy with a view that women should remain at home with babies and some how that I have a career is something that he isn't comfortable with. Yeah you can jam that with walnuts.
I said bye bye now and went on my merry way. He called while I was driving home, and in the morning too (both times I never answered) and then sent a pathetic text message saying I hope I didn't offend you and that I had fun at dinner.
My response, I was offended and what you said was over the line for me. Said good luck but good bye. As any boy reacts he decided to respond and said that I was overreacting but good luck to me.
Being a racist is a deal breaker for me.
There is no need to being sprouting that shit in the 21st century.
Keep that shit to yourself, no one wants to here you bigoted, racists comments.
And that's why I dumped his arse! I am definitely not sharing my spare time with an idiot.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Real estates! I have a biff to pick with you!
Today, I really hit my top.
I have been waiting three months for any sign of moving into my new apartment.
Three bloody long months of no words, just real estate butt kissing to the highest degree.
My real estate is incompetent, stupid and has no concept of service delivery, even at its lowest quality.
I have received nothing but phone calls and emails about how she is making things happen, she has the power to make decisions on the building of new unit, blah, blah, blah.
Basically, I have to listen to six months of bullshit and no action.
When I say I am going to something, I do it. I don't spend the next six months saying yeah I'm on it but I'll get to it. I would be fired for that. And I work in an industry that serves the public.
How can a real estate agent, whose only job is to serve and do it well, can not even do that. The only she has done is talk about how wonderful she is, how good she is, why she is good at her job... oh for the love of god, if I see her I want to punch her... and I am not violent. I am weak as piss.
I hate people who bullshit. That spin lies to your face and when you say are you bullshitting they deny it. Don't do that! That is one thing that pisses me off. Liars. If I ask you to your face and you lie, and I find out that you're lying, oh.... run!
Ok I am mid-way through trying not to have the urge to jam her real estate licence up her ass because I am trying to be an adult. But man I really want to slog her. Gggrrghhh!!
Ok, I am calm now. I had a sip of red wine. I am going to be ok.
I hate her. Ok hate is a strong word. I really, really, REALLY, dislike the woman. That's better.
I know she is trying to do her job but she is really bad at it and I was even warned beforehand. I ignored it.
I was warned not to move in with my best friend (now ex best friend) and I did. And it was a disaster. But I ignored everyone. Friends and family warned me but I ignored them.
I wanted to move to London when I was 21 and didn't because everyone told me to build a career. I did. And while I am extremely happy that I did so, when I did move to London I was 28 and it was a lot harder than for my younger friends who moved there.
I am going to stop listening to everyone else telling me how to live my life, and I am going to listen to just one voice, mine. I've been right before and I will again. I just second guess it from time to time.
This time, I was pissed and I let my real estate agent have it. Family said don't but bugger it... I let her have it. Silly cow.
Still wished I told her to shove the real estate licence up her ass...
I have been waiting three months for any sign of moving into my new apartment.
Three bloody long months of no words, just real estate butt kissing to the highest degree.
My real estate is incompetent, stupid and has no concept of service delivery, even at its lowest quality.
I have received nothing but phone calls and emails about how she is making things happen, she has the power to make decisions on the building of new unit, blah, blah, blah.
Basically, I have to listen to six months of bullshit and no action.
When I say I am going to something, I do it. I don't spend the next six months saying yeah I'm on it but I'll get to it. I would be fired for that. And I work in an industry that serves the public.
How can a real estate agent, whose only job is to serve and do it well, can not even do that. The only she has done is talk about how wonderful she is, how good she is, why she is good at her job... oh for the love of god, if I see her I want to punch her... and I am not violent. I am weak as piss.
I hate people who bullshit. That spin lies to your face and when you say are you bullshitting they deny it. Don't do that! That is one thing that pisses me off. Liars. If I ask you to your face and you lie, and I find out that you're lying, oh.... run!
Ok I am mid-way through trying not to have the urge to jam her real estate licence up her ass because I am trying to be an adult. But man I really want to slog her. Gggrrghhh!!
Ok, I am calm now. I had a sip of red wine. I am going to be ok.
I hate her. Ok hate is a strong word. I really, really, REALLY, dislike the woman. That's better.
I know she is trying to do her job but she is really bad at it and I was even warned beforehand. I ignored it.
I was warned not to move in with my best friend (now ex best friend) and I did. And it was a disaster. But I ignored everyone. Friends and family warned me but I ignored them.
I wanted to move to London when I was 21 and didn't because everyone told me to build a career. I did. And while I am extremely happy that I did so, when I did move to London I was 28 and it was a lot harder than for my younger friends who moved there.
I am going to stop listening to everyone else telling me how to live my life, and I am going to listen to just one voice, mine. I've been right before and I will again. I just second guess it from time to time.
This time, I was pissed and I let my real estate agent have it. Family said don't but bugger it... I let her have it. Silly cow.
Still wished I told her to shove the real estate licence up her ass...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Text or next?
You read the books like He's Just Not That Into You or Textbook Romance and they tell you the man enjoys the chase. Don't call him. Don't say too much. Don't breathe in fact and maybe you can hold on to a man.
Maybe the people who write these books need to remember that this is the real world, and its not like a sex and city episode or mills and boons book.
Maybe its time to tell these men to get some balls and learn that its the 21st century and the world doesn't centre around them. That maybe life doesn't go according to plan.
I put this question to men, why do women have to wait for you to call them? Why do you say at the end of the date 'I'll call you' but have no intention to do so? Just say 'see ya' and be on your way.
If you give all the signs that you're interested... emailing instantly after I reply to your last email, calling me nearly every second day to talk for up to an hour each time, and then bug me all day long on the day of the date just to chat. THEN we go on date, you seem to be interested, and then there is no follow up phone call. Nothing. Its like you died in a fairy floss accident, never to be heard again. Just don't say at the end of the date, 'I'll call you!' because that total bullshit.
I don't say hey stud come home with me tonight and then change my mind half way through and say no thanks! I say no, and I mean no, and I say, when I mean yes. Pretty simple boys.
See women don't give mixed messages.
They say what they mean and when it comes out of their mouth it means exactly that.
But you boys like the chase, the games, and the non existent hints that your interested. Don't tell me that he is just not that interested. The man was. He just has no balls. To put it plainly. So for him, there is no text, its next! Maybe he will learn one day – if he ever does – that maybe the game playing is boring and we are 10 years old and like to be chased around the playground.
I grew out of my crimped pig tails, he obviously didn't grow out of his pre-pubescent behaviour.
Its definitely upwards and onwards for me.
I had light bulb moment today and deleted my ex boyfriend from my life.
Its ok I didn't do anything to him, I deleted him as a friend on facebook. It was one small step to saying goodbye to my past and hello to the future.
I have said goodbye to him and no can finally leave him where he belongs... hitching up with girls with STD's. LOL. Just kidding.
Maybe the people who write these books need to remember that this is the real world, and its not like a sex and city episode or mills and boons book.
Maybe its time to tell these men to get some balls and learn that its the 21st century and the world doesn't centre around them. That maybe life doesn't go according to plan.
I put this question to men, why do women have to wait for you to call them? Why do you say at the end of the date 'I'll call you' but have no intention to do so? Just say 'see ya' and be on your way.
If you give all the signs that you're interested... emailing instantly after I reply to your last email, calling me nearly every second day to talk for up to an hour each time, and then bug me all day long on the day of the date just to chat. THEN we go on date, you seem to be interested, and then there is no follow up phone call. Nothing. Its like you died in a fairy floss accident, never to be heard again. Just don't say at the end of the date, 'I'll call you!' because that total bullshit.
I don't say hey stud come home with me tonight and then change my mind half way through and say no thanks! I say no, and I mean no, and I say, when I mean yes. Pretty simple boys.
See women don't give mixed messages.
They say what they mean and when it comes out of their mouth it means exactly that.
But you boys like the chase, the games, and the non existent hints that your interested. Don't tell me that he is just not that interested. The man was. He just has no balls. To put it plainly. So for him, there is no text, its next! Maybe he will learn one day – if he ever does – that maybe the game playing is boring and we are 10 years old and like to be chased around the playground.
I grew out of my crimped pig tails, he obviously didn't grow out of his pre-pubescent behaviour.
Its definitely upwards and onwards for me.
I had light bulb moment today and deleted my ex boyfriend from my life.
Its ok I didn't do anything to him, I deleted him as a friend on facebook. It was one small step to saying goodbye to my past and hello to the future.
I have said goodbye to him and no can finally leave him where he belongs... hitching up with girls with STD's. LOL. Just kidding.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Real women? Please!
What is all this bullshit about women wearing no make up in photographs and how they are real? Please!!!
The term 'curvy' to explain apparent big women? Since when is a size 10 curvy? I am a size 12 to 14 and I am curvy. What curves are on a size 10 woman? Besides the usual bumps (boobs, ass and a nose)? I am a healthy sized woman.
With curves that have been complemented in the past by women and, yes of course, men but this isn't want matters. What matters is that when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I might feel some days that being five kilos lighter would smooth some things out but hey, what are you going to do! I take care of myself, I eat well (yes I eat chocolate) and I am curvy. Rah! I am just tired of seeing these women (with no curves) being described as curvy woman. WTF! Please. Stop bullshitting me.
I am getting a bit annoyed at the term curvy or real woman used in the media! What the hell do they know! They project an image (which is fake) and then tell me its real. I know its real, that's why I buy magazines. I don't real. I look in the mirror, walk down the street, go into my office and see real women.
Magazines and media are about fake. Fake writing, fake pictures, fake everything!
You can't read a magazine and not see another mediocre journalist quoting 'sources say' when its made up! Its bullshit! I know that though. Unfortunately some women and men don't. This is what scares me because most of them will be under 18 years, prone to criticism and bullying and still trying to find their place in the world.
Who the hell wants to see Joanna Griggs, Rikki Coulter-blah and the Sea Patrol blondie talk about how they were uplifted by not wearing make up, and feel they can connect with audience. I am being sarcastic and rolling my eyes at the same time.
There are some days I don't wear make up. Am I making inroads for women around the world? Why thank you. That's flattening but bullshit. Women do it every day. What makes these women, in the magazines, so special? Because what, they are 'famous'? I hardly think the women featured in this magazine can be described as women making inroads in the magazine world.
So why do we allow these magazines – tabloid at best – to tell me that these women are empowering? Walk out onto the street and see women who are empowering.
These are women who take care of their children, women who care for someone who is sick, has a disability or in need or women who say no to sitting by and doing, and doing something in the community. These are women who are empowering. Not women without make up!
Magazines, movies, television etc are fake. That's why we looked to them. We know what is happening in the world. We want an escape. Not reality. Not supposed real women! I can see that every day.
What I want is for those mediums to stop trying to be something that they are not, and just accept what they are... tomorrow's fish and chip paper.
The term 'curvy' to explain apparent big women? Since when is a size 10 curvy? I am a size 12 to 14 and I am curvy. What curves are on a size 10 woman? Besides the usual bumps (boobs, ass and a nose)? I am a healthy sized woman.
With curves that have been complemented in the past by women and, yes of course, men but this isn't want matters. What matters is that when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I might feel some days that being five kilos lighter would smooth some things out but hey, what are you going to do! I take care of myself, I eat well (yes I eat chocolate) and I am curvy. Rah! I am just tired of seeing these women (with no curves) being described as curvy woman. WTF! Please. Stop bullshitting me.
I am getting a bit annoyed at the term curvy or real woman used in the media! What the hell do they know! They project an image (which is fake) and then tell me its real. I know its real, that's why I buy magazines. I don't real. I look in the mirror, walk down the street, go into my office and see real women.
Magazines and media are about fake. Fake writing, fake pictures, fake everything!
You can't read a magazine and not see another mediocre journalist quoting 'sources say' when its made up! Its bullshit! I know that though. Unfortunately some women and men don't. This is what scares me because most of them will be under 18 years, prone to criticism and bullying and still trying to find their place in the world.
Who the hell wants to see Joanna Griggs, Rikki Coulter-blah and the Sea Patrol blondie talk about how they were uplifted by not wearing make up, and feel they can connect with audience. I am being sarcastic and rolling my eyes at the same time.
There are some days I don't wear make up. Am I making inroads for women around the world? Why thank you. That's flattening but bullshit. Women do it every day. What makes these women, in the magazines, so special? Because what, they are 'famous'? I hardly think the women featured in this magazine can be described as women making inroads in the magazine world.
So why do we allow these magazines – tabloid at best – to tell me that these women are empowering? Walk out onto the street and see women who are empowering.
These are women who take care of their children, women who care for someone who is sick, has a disability or in need or women who say no to sitting by and doing, and doing something in the community. These are women who are empowering. Not women without make up!
Magazines, movies, television etc are fake. That's why we looked to them. We know what is happening in the world. We want an escape. Not reality. Not supposed real women! I can see that every day.
What I want is for those mediums to stop trying to be something that they are not, and just accept what they are... tomorrow's fish and chip paper.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Men and the games they play?
No its not a misprint.
Men are the ones that play games. Not women. Ok maybe I am generalising here but I believe men play the games, hold all the cards, hide everything up their sleeve.
I don't play games.
I have no patience or need to play games.
The only problem is I assume that the man I spend my spare time with (and these days we are quite limited on how much free time we actually have) would not be a gamer player. I make this reasoning because I believe I am a good judge of character and can spot a liar when I see one. After all that's part of my job.
As I get back on the dating scene I am starting to think I might have the wool over my eyes... or someone is putting it over my eyes.
Men say the right things, act the way you want them to act but are they really what they seem?
I don't mean to cast assertions but the past few months I have gone on several dates and every single man has played a game.
That game could be 'oh I love reading books' (truth, 'is a newspaper a book?), 'I love travelling' (truth 'I spent a year in London and never went travelling because no one would come with me'), or 'I love a good drink' (truth, 'jeez are you a bit sad for not getting pissed').
This happened. I kid you not.
The last one was from the mouth of an idiot... I'm sorry a boy – in the army – who felt that the fact I didn't get drunk every weekend was a reflection of my apparent sad life. He truly was an idiot and only emphasised the stupidity that is recruited in to the army. I pray the woman who ends up with that potential alcoholic. Although if she does she choose him as her partner in life and possibly the father of her children then her character should also be judged.
The other man, whom I had two dates with, seemed independent at first until he said he spent a year in London but never actually crossed the Channel to see Europe because he didn't want to travel on his own. Nor would he buy a house on his own as he didn't want to do that on his own either. This screams two things – one he is completely and wholeheartedly dependent on other people, or his a mummy's boy. Two things that not attractive whatsoever.
So when I sat there contemplating how I would avoid a third date, he sent a text message expressing that there was no chemistry between us and that he would like to be friends. Phew!!!
I am not even going to mention the first one.
Without giving too much away – I write for a living – so when a man says is a newspaper a book I am inclined to hit him with something hard. I sat there for less than fifteen minutes (it was as long as I could stand) before making an excuse about a deadline and then making a run for it, literally.
They all said the same thing. Oh I am really interested, you seem so interesting, blah de blah blah! I stopped listening.
As I said, I don't have any patience for idiots. With that, I am willing and wanting to meet men and broaden my knowledge, experience and horizon but when you are dealt with loser, after loser, after loser... you get disheartened.
I am just tired of games.
And if you don't play, what hope is there for a match?
What if all men play games? Oh dear god that thought is something I do not wish to think about as I don't see it not fun, a sport, or anything in between.
Not too worry... I am sure there is a man out there who can, and will, challenge me in all aspects.
I just have to get past all the game players first!
FYI - Just to let you know, the policeman emailed me a week ago to apologise for his tardiness and then wrote about the weather and how it had been lovely on the weekend. Boring! Why bother emailing me about the bloody weather! What do I care.
Two words... Game player!!!
Men are the ones that play games. Not women. Ok maybe I am generalising here but I believe men play the games, hold all the cards, hide everything up their sleeve.
I don't play games.
I have no patience or need to play games.
The only problem is I assume that the man I spend my spare time with (and these days we are quite limited on how much free time we actually have) would not be a gamer player. I make this reasoning because I believe I am a good judge of character and can spot a liar when I see one. After all that's part of my job.
As I get back on the dating scene I am starting to think I might have the wool over my eyes... or someone is putting it over my eyes.
Men say the right things, act the way you want them to act but are they really what they seem?
I don't mean to cast assertions but the past few months I have gone on several dates and every single man has played a game.
That game could be 'oh I love reading books' (truth, 'is a newspaper a book?), 'I love travelling' (truth 'I spent a year in London and never went travelling because no one would come with me'), or 'I love a good drink' (truth, 'jeez are you a bit sad for not getting pissed').
This happened. I kid you not.
The last one was from the mouth of an idiot... I'm sorry a boy – in the army – who felt that the fact I didn't get drunk every weekend was a reflection of my apparent sad life. He truly was an idiot and only emphasised the stupidity that is recruited in to the army. I pray the woman who ends up with that potential alcoholic. Although if she does she choose him as her partner in life and possibly the father of her children then her character should also be judged.
The other man, whom I had two dates with, seemed independent at first until he said he spent a year in London but never actually crossed the Channel to see Europe because he didn't want to travel on his own. Nor would he buy a house on his own as he didn't want to do that on his own either. This screams two things – one he is completely and wholeheartedly dependent on other people, or his a mummy's boy. Two things that not attractive whatsoever.
So when I sat there contemplating how I would avoid a third date, he sent a text message expressing that there was no chemistry between us and that he would like to be friends. Phew!!!
I am not even going to mention the first one.
Without giving too much away – I write for a living – so when a man says is a newspaper a book I am inclined to hit him with something hard. I sat there for less than fifteen minutes (it was as long as I could stand) before making an excuse about a deadline and then making a run for it, literally.
They all said the same thing. Oh I am really interested, you seem so interesting, blah de blah blah! I stopped listening.
As I said, I don't have any patience for idiots. With that, I am willing and wanting to meet men and broaden my knowledge, experience and horizon but when you are dealt with loser, after loser, after loser... you get disheartened.
I am just tired of games.
And if you don't play, what hope is there for a match?
What if all men play games? Oh dear god that thought is something I do not wish to think about as I don't see it not fun, a sport, or anything in between.
Not too worry... I am sure there is a man out there who can, and will, challenge me in all aspects.
I just have to get past all the game players first!
FYI - Just to let you know, the policeman emailed me a week ago to apologise for his tardiness and then wrote about the weather and how it had been lovely on the weekend. Boring! Why bother emailing me about the bloody weather! What do I care.
Two words... Game player!!!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Kissing on the first date, is it skanky?
Last Saturday night I went on a date with a policeman I met through an online dating website; yes I can hear the moans, the judgement and the 'oh my god she must be dog ugly to go on a website'.
Well one, how dare you call me dog ugly! And two don't throw stones.
You should have seen the policeman. Tall (6 foot), dark brown hair, broody eyes, and beautiful strong arms. Basically, he was hot. I had seen his photo before we met and he looked pretty good on site but in person I was one happy camper! Or a happy jail bird?
So he messages me while I am driving to the date to tell me he has arrived early and can he pre-order my drink for me... check! Red wine, thank you very much.
I do the last minute check: breathe, hair, arm pits, pout and push up bra a little more and make my way to the local pub in the city. There is sitting at the back of the room, with my red wine waiting and a lovely smile on his face. As he leaned into kiss my cheek, I stumbled a bit and grabbed my elbow to hold me steady. Yes, I am starting to sound likes a Mills and Boon book but it kind of was like that.
Anyway we sit down, we sip our drinks and start the questions:
So how was your day?
What made you want to do ice hockey? Boot camp?
What's your job like?
You travel a lot, what's your favourite place?
Blah, blah, blah. Yarda, yarda, yarda.
Its safe to say there were no gaps in conversation, no awkwardness, nothing. It was fantastic.
So he suggests dinner, I choose, he pays. I even offered to go and pay, he said no. So I bought him a drink and flashed him my winning smile and leaned in a bit. Not slutty cause the top I was wearing covered all so there was no way he was getting a glimpse of anything on a first date.
I am lady!
As the date concluded, he walked me to my car and at my car, steps in and surprises me by kissing me. Yeah imagine my face...
He surprised me so much that I believe my teeth hit his.
I didn't see it coming!
So he said, 'we can do better than that' and kisses me again!
Now, I was still stunned from the first one because I have never been kissed on a first date. Ever! It just not on. I barely know the guy or his surname, and here he is kissing me.
I smile and he says drive safely, I'll call you later.
Right, so the date was on Saturday and its been a week... I suspect I'm being blow off.
It is wrong! It was a great date. Who kisses someone on a first date and then doesn't call? Seriously, I asking.
I am not going to sound completely stuck up but I am pretty. I look good, I take care of myself, I have shiny hair, and a nice face. Basically, I look good! So what the fuck!
I am thinking of texting him or possibly emailing him but common sense is telling me to keep away from technology.
The wait begins....
Well one, how dare you call me dog ugly! And two don't throw stones.
You should have seen the policeman. Tall (6 foot), dark brown hair, broody eyes, and beautiful strong arms. Basically, he was hot. I had seen his photo before we met and he looked pretty good on site but in person I was one happy camper! Or a happy jail bird?
So he messages me while I am driving to the date to tell me he has arrived early and can he pre-order my drink for me... check! Red wine, thank you very much.
I do the last minute check: breathe, hair, arm pits, pout and push up bra a little more and make my way to the local pub in the city. There is sitting at the back of the room, with my red wine waiting and a lovely smile on his face. As he leaned into kiss my cheek, I stumbled a bit and grabbed my elbow to hold me steady. Yes, I am starting to sound likes a Mills and Boon book but it kind of was like that.
Anyway we sit down, we sip our drinks and start the questions:
So how was your day?
What made you want to do ice hockey? Boot camp?
What's your job like?
You travel a lot, what's your favourite place?
Blah, blah, blah. Yarda, yarda, yarda.
Its safe to say there were no gaps in conversation, no awkwardness, nothing. It was fantastic.
So he suggests dinner, I choose, he pays. I even offered to go and pay, he said no. So I bought him a drink and flashed him my winning smile and leaned in a bit. Not slutty cause the top I was wearing covered all so there was no way he was getting a glimpse of anything on a first date.
I am lady!
As the date concluded, he walked me to my car and at my car, steps in and surprises me by kissing me. Yeah imagine my face...
He surprised me so much that I believe my teeth hit his.
I didn't see it coming!
So he said, 'we can do better than that' and kisses me again!
Now, I was still stunned from the first one because I have never been kissed on a first date. Ever! It just not on. I barely know the guy or his surname, and here he is kissing me.
I smile and he says drive safely, I'll call you later.
Right, so the date was on Saturday and its been a week... I suspect I'm being blow off.
It is wrong! It was a great date. Who kisses someone on a first date and then doesn't call? Seriously, I asking.
I am not going to sound completely stuck up but I am pretty. I look good, I take care of myself, I have shiny hair, and a nice face. Basically, I look good! So what the fuck!
I am thinking of texting him or possibly emailing him but common sense is telling me to keep away from technology.
The wait begins....
Friday, March 26, 2010
Mmmmm what can I say?!?
When I was single, I complained about not being in a relationship.
When I was in a relationship, I complained that I wanted to be single.
This thought is not subject to women only, men have the same thought bubbles.
So why do we enter into relationships knowing the majority are doomed to end into tiny broken pieces?
Is it about sex?
Companionship?
Having (a) travel, (b) dinner, (c) movie, (d) sitting in a park buddies.
The fear of dying alone?
Am I missing anything?
I personally don’t have these thought patterns.
I don’t have a fear of dying alone.
I can travel on my own. And have.
I can eat out at restaurants on my own.
I can go to movies on my own.
I can sit in a park on my own.
I have friends and family for companionship.
Ah but last but not least is sex.
You got me there.
Do you need to have a relationship to get it?
As a woman, only wanting that, and nothing else, does it constitute all sorts of slurs on one’s reputation?
If so, why aren’t men subject to the same slurs?
Why do they just get high fives and slaps on the back but women are subjected to slurs such as ‘cheap’, ‘skant’, ‘slut’ or ‘slapper’?
This isn’t the first time this has been brought up.
I am not Germaine Gree.
I only mention it because it hasn’t changed.
Society still hasn’t changed.
It doesn’t matter if Sex and the City revolutionised women in the 21st century, a slut is a slut.
All the Samantha’s in the world can never change how your friends, family and peers see you.
And you won’t ignore it.
Society is built around judging others.
How people see you.
What people think of you.
Everyone wants to be accepted.
Anyone who tells you they don’t care what people think of them … IS A DOWNRIGHT FILTHY LIAR!!!
When I was in a relationship, I complained that I wanted to be single.
This thought is not subject to women only, men have the same thought bubbles.
So why do we enter into relationships knowing the majority are doomed to end into tiny broken pieces?
Is it about sex?
Companionship?
Having (a) travel, (b) dinner, (c) movie, (d) sitting in a park buddies.
The fear of dying alone?
Am I missing anything?
I personally don’t have these thought patterns.
I don’t have a fear of dying alone.
I can travel on my own. And have.
I can eat out at restaurants on my own.
I can go to movies on my own.
I can sit in a park on my own.
I have friends and family for companionship.
Ah but last but not least is sex.
You got me there.
Do you need to have a relationship to get it?
As a woman, only wanting that, and nothing else, does it constitute all sorts of slurs on one’s reputation?
If so, why aren’t men subject to the same slurs?
Why do they just get high fives and slaps on the back but women are subjected to slurs such as ‘cheap’, ‘skant’, ‘slut’ or ‘slapper’?
This isn’t the first time this has been brought up.
I am not Germaine Gree.
I only mention it because it hasn’t changed.
Society still hasn’t changed.
It doesn’t matter if Sex and the City revolutionised women in the 21st century, a slut is a slut.
All the Samantha’s in the world can never change how your friends, family and peers see you.
And you won’t ignore it.
Society is built around judging others.
How people see you.
What people think of you.
Everyone wants to be accepted.
Anyone who tells you they don’t care what people think of them … IS A DOWNRIGHT FILTHY LIAR!!!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Learnt my lesson
We had been dating nearly two months when he uttered the words that he couldn't make a girlfriend a priority in his life and I wondered why did he show all the signs that he was in a relationship and the words to go with it.
Why did he lead me on to thinking that a relationship was on the cards when in fact all he wanted was a women who asked no questions and put no pressure on him?
Why not stick to one night stands instead of spending time with me, meeting my friends and showing all the sickly touchy feel monogamous signs of a relationship and then pull the rug from underneath me?
Its sick.
How could someone do this to someone they claim they like and enjoy spending time with them?
Now before anyone says he must have given away signs of wanting nothing but a casual 'relationship', he didn't. He made it clear that he wanted a relationship with me. So what am I suppose to do? I can't badger him and make him sign it in blood. You take someone at their word. Otherwise why have a relationship with them. Why bother entering into a relationship at all.
At this point, he told me that he needed time to think about what I had asked of him and that he liked me and liked spending time with me. In hindsight I should have say goodbye there and then and went on my merry way but I didn't because he told me he liked me and wanted to be with me. Yeah I am sucker because I believed him and trusted him. I was wrong. Completely, and utterly, wrong.
So the problem was that we were completely attracted to one another and any chance of conversation went to wayside when we saw each other. It was hot but after three months of this my brain started to kick in and all thoughts to our conversation started to way heavily on my shoulders.
The last month of our 'relationship' he spent the entire time avoiding the conversation and used his work as an excuse to avoid me. So the jig was up.
I realised I had enough of being jerked around and disrespected by a man who was afraid of sharing his life with a woman whose only misfortune was that she wanted to get to know him.
When I finally got the courage to dump him, I stood in the room and desperately hoped he would look at me and see me. He didn't.
He watched television and completely ignored me. I knew it was over.
So I told him what I wanted from him and his only response was that work was busy, and he had a busy schedule with sporting commitments and he had no idea how I fitted into that.
I was about to walk away and went to him (because the ass couldn't be bothered coming to me) and kissed him goodbye. As I moved, he grabbed me by the arm and I thought, stupidly, that he had changed his mind. He didn't. He only offered his services to me. Oh I was a lucky girl.
I felt really special at that point.
As many of you don't know me, I am being sarcastic. I told him goodbye and walked out. He muttered something but I couldn't turn back and ask him what he said as I feared I would never leave the room and he convince me again to stay.
That was it.
Of the four months I spent with him, two months were wonderful, the rest was a disaster and I didn't want to accept it or face it.
I learnt my lesson not to waste my time with a man who was emotionally unavailable and dysfunctional to the hilt.
Well actually the lesson I learnt was to find out up front their deal and go from there. Life is too short to be wasting it with people who don't really want to stand next to you. That's what everyone wants.
A person who will stand next to you through thick and thin.
Why did he lead me on to thinking that a relationship was on the cards when in fact all he wanted was a women who asked no questions and put no pressure on him?
Why not stick to one night stands instead of spending time with me, meeting my friends and showing all the sickly touchy feel monogamous signs of a relationship and then pull the rug from underneath me?
Its sick.
How could someone do this to someone they claim they like and enjoy spending time with them?
Now before anyone says he must have given away signs of wanting nothing but a casual 'relationship', he didn't. He made it clear that he wanted a relationship with me. So what am I suppose to do? I can't badger him and make him sign it in blood. You take someone at their word. Otherwise why have a relationship with them. Why bother entering into a relationship at all.
At this point, he told me that he needed time to think about what I had asked of him and that he liked me and liked spending time with me. In hindsight I should have say goodbye there and then and went on my merry way but I didn't because he told me he liked me and wanted to be with me. Yeah I am sucker because I believed him and trusted him. I was wrong. Completely, and utterly, wrong.
So the problem was that we were completely attracted to one another and any chance of conversation went to wayside when we saw each other. It was hot but after three months of this my brain started to kick in and all thoughts to our conversation started to way heavily on my shoulders.
The last month of our 'relationship' he spent the entire time avoiding the conversation and used his work as an excuse to avoid me. So the jig was up.
I realised I had enough of being jerked around and disrespected by a man who was afraid of sharing his life with a woman whose only misfortune was that she wanted to get to know him.
When I finally got the courage to dump him, I stood in the room and desperately hoped he would look at me and see me. He didn't.
He watched television and completely ignored me. I knew it was over.
So I told him what I wanted from him and his only response was that work was busy, and he had a busy schedule with sporting commitments and he had no idea how I fitted into that.
I was about to walk away and went to him (because the ass couldn't be bothered coming to me) and kissed him goodbye. As I moved, he grabbed me by the arm and I thought, stupidly, that he had changed his mind. He didn't. He only offered his services to me. Oh I was a lucky girl.
I felt really special at that point.
As many of you don't know me, I am being sarcastic. I told him goodbye and walked out. He muttered something but I couldn't turn back and ask him what he said as I feared I would never leave the room and he convince me again to stay.
That was it.
Of the four months I spent with him, two months were wonderful, the rest was a disaster and I didn't want to accept it or face it.
I learnt my lesson not to waste my time with a man who was emotionally unavailable and dysfunctional to the hilt.
Well actually the lesson I learnt was to find out up front their deal and go from there. Life is too short to be wasting it with people who don't really want to stand next to you. That's what everyone wants.
A person who will stand next to you through thick and thin.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
How could I get it so wrong?
"This isn't over. I really like you but I just can't make a girlfriend a priority.”
You hear it all the time in the movies, books, magazines and from your girlfriends, and you believe it will never happen to you. Never! Yet it happens. Story after story about how a useless, dim-witted socially dysfunction man who sweeps you off your feet, promises you that you are the one for him and then …
BANG
It happens. You get comfortable. You relax. You think that possibly you've met someone whom you could get to know and who would want to get to know you but I am sorry to say, its not the case.
It happened to me, one fine summer night, while strolling back from a wonderful evening with a man I believed was charming, funny and actually into me. Uttered those gut wrenching words. I stood there like deer in headlights. I didn't move an inch. I forgot to breathe at one point. When I realised I hadn't said anything for what felt like an hour (when in fact it was five seconds), I put up my defences and said
“That's OK, how about you think about it, and let me know.”
That's OK? Did I just say that? Its OK that I got Jackie Chang in the stomach and then king hit by Bruce Willis? That's OK because I wanted him to think harder about how he didn't want me in his life and that anything resembling some sort of relationship was like asking him to slice off his testicles.
All I had said to him was – and boys I meant it when I say this is what I said to him – I would like to get to know you and spend more time with you. Full stop.
Nothing about swapping keys, picking China for our wedding or brainstorming our babies names.
For the love of god!
I actually wanted to get to know him more to see if he was worth getting to know. I am no Shakespeare but I get straight to the point.
I am indeed one of those women, very rare too, who says what is on her mind and means it. No games. No alluding. Just that. Straight to the point. Why beat around the bush when it comes to relationships. You are suppose to get to know someone and starting with lies generally doesn't work in your favour.
Now without sounding like a women scorned believe me when I say that when I am up front, I expect it in return. And when you know the man you are dating because prior to it, you worked together for six months before he left the job, and then you explained at the beginning of the dating ritual that you are not a casual girl, you just don't see yourself as a cheap whore. Call me crazy but I was brought up by two civilised, respected parents, to respect myself, my mind and my body not to be cheapened by a man who is socially inept.
It started off well. I had a crush on him that made me feel like a schoolgirl. I loved it. At work we would flirt with each other but neither of us realised the other liked one another. Classic girl likes boy, boy likes girl but can't quite find a moment to connect. Plus I don't shit in my backyard. I don't date men I work with. Yes, I am a lady. I'm just a smart lady.
So one night I hosted a house-warming after moving I made the move into a fabulous apartment and decided that I would invite him along and make my move. The reality is is that by the time he arrived (five hours after the party started) I was drunk off my ass because I assumed he wasn't coming. So when he arrived dress as The Joker from Batman (the Heath Ledger version, not Jack Nicholson character) I was belting out the hit song 'I don't know what love is' by Foreigner. A classic. Well really I was screaming it and making air guitar gestures at the same time. Yes, I was hot that night.
He sat down, and watched me. And you know what I did, I grabbed one of my girlfriends and dragged her to my bedroom (hang on boys) and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. That's the problem with drinking alcohol, you always forget the crucial part to avoiding a hangover – food. I forgot to eat food. That was my attempt at a move.
They do tell me I am suave... I don't know who these people are though.
So when we arranged for a coffee three days later – and I had recovered from alcohol poisoning – I decided to sit down and be a grown up and see if this boy liked me. Instead I was kept waiting (a sign of things to come) and sent a text message to a friend saying that he was late and that going to give him another two minutes before I tell him to sod off. As I sending this text I noticed he was in the distance so I wrote oh don't worry he is on his way and he looks cute. Yeah I am 12 years old. I sent the text on its merry way and watched him sit down across from. At this point I was gearing myself up to open my mouth but all I can muster was “hi, how are you”... wow truly I should be writing scripts for Hollywood. Anyway as the coffee and chat went on, neither one of us said anything about the house warming except for the fact I was wasted and crashed at my own party. Yes I am a bad host. I know it. Its part of my charm.
After everything was not said, I went on my merry way but with my ego as low as it could be (around my ankles to be exact) and decided that he wasn't the boy for me.
I was feeling pretty low so I called my friend and asked her why she didn't reply to my message when she queried me, saying she never received anything from me.
“Oh dear god! Are you shitting me?”
I realised at that point I had indeed messaged the boy and not my friend.
“Oh my god, I think he knows how I feel about him. Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do... I know how about you call him and find out if he got the message and what he thinks about the message?”
“You have got to be kidding me?” My friend uttered in disgust. “I am not doing that. Its crazy. Don't worry about it. If he likes you, he will call you.”
“No he won't because I sent him that message, god I am loser,” I seriously was going mad at the embarrassment that I sent the text to the wrong person and now was forcing my dear poor friend to call him and see if he liked me.
What is wrong with this picture? After my friend called the boy she found out that he actually did like me and thought the text was cute (I'm a loser) and that he would call me to chat. See most girls would be all excited instead I threatened not to answer the phone after the shame of sending such a childish text message and then asking my friend to find out if the boy liked me. My god! Can I sink any lower. I can. I didn't answer the phone when he called. One good reason, I was driving on a freeway back to my house and it is not very responsible to answer the phone while driving. So I was being a good citizen. I also was shit scared of answering the phone and needed to think about what I was going to say. A script. I needed a script!
Yeah mental note, scripts don't work. You stumbled through the words, sound rehearsed and look like an idiot. And yes I did look like an idiot.
Through all of that, we managed to organise the first and it was wonderful despite the fact I was so nervous I wanted to throw up. Any smell of food, alcohol and body odour made my stomach hurl.
At the end of the first date of a just drink and wander through the city, he ended up kissing me at my doorstop and that was it.
I was hooked.
That's the problem when it comes to getting hooked, everything become blurring.
You hear it all the time in the movies, books, magazines and from your girlfriends, and you believe it will never happen to you. Never! Yet it happens. Story after story about how a useless, dim-witted socially dysfunction man who sweeps you off your feet, promises you that you are the one for him and then …
BANG
It happens. You get comfortable. You relax. You think that possibly you've met someone whom you could get to know and who would want to get to know you but I am sorry to say, its not the case.
It happened to me, one fine summer night, while strolling back from a wonderful evening with a man I believed was charming, funny and actually into me. Uttered those gut wrenching words. I stood there like deer in headlights. I didn't move an inch. I forgot to breathe at one point. When I realised I hadn't said anything for what felt like an hour (when in fact it was five seconds), I put up my defences and said
“That's OK, how about you think about it, and let me know.”
That's OK? Did I just say that? Its OK that I got Jackie Chang in the stomach and then king hit by Bruce Willis? That's OK because I wanted him to think harder about how he didn't want me in his life and that anything resembling some sort of relationship was like asking him to slice off his testicles.
All I had said to him was – and boys I meant it when I say this is what I said to him – I would like to get to know you and spend more time with you. Full stop.
Nothing about swapping keys, picking China for our wedding or brainstorming our babies names.
For the love of god!
I actually wanted to get to know him more to see if he was worth getting to know. I am no Shakespeare but I get straight to the point.
I am indeed one of those women, very rare too, who says what is on her mind and means it. No games. No alluding. Just that. Straight to the point. Why beat around the bush when it comes to relationships. You are suppose to get to know someone and starting with lies generally doesn't work in your favour.
Now without sounding like a women scorned believe me when I say that when I am up front, I expect it in return. And when you know the man you are dating because prior to it, you worked together for six months before he left the job, and then you explained at the beginning of the dating ritual that you are not a casual girl, you just don't see yourself as a cheap whore. Call me crazy but I was brought up by two civilised, respected parents, to respect myself, my mind and my body not to be cheapened by a man who is socially inept.
It started off well. I had a crush on him that made me feel like a schoolgirl. I loved it. At work we would flirt with each other but neither of us realised the other liked one another. Classic girl likes boy, boy likes girl but can't quite find a moment to connect. Plus I don't shit in my backyard. I don't date men I work with. Yes, I am a lady. I'm just a smart lady.
So one night I hosted a house-warming after moving I made the move into a fabulous apartment and decided that I would invite him along and make my move. The reality is is that by the time he arrived (five hours after the party started) I was drunk off my ass because I assumed he wasn't coming. So when he arrived dress as The Joker from Batman (the Heath Ledger version, not Jack Nicholson character) I was belting out the hit song 'I don't know what love is' by Foreigner. A classic. Well really I was screaming it and making air guitar gestures at the same time. Yes, I was hot that night.
He sat down, and watched me. And you know what I did, I grabbed one of my girlfriends and dragged her to my bedroom (hang on boys) and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. That's the problem with drinking alcohol, you always forget the crucial part to avoiding a hangover – food. I forgot to eat food. That was my attempt at a move.
They do tell me I am suave... I don't know who these people are though.
So when we arranged for a coffee three days later – and I had recovered from alcohol poisoning – I decided to sit down and be a grown up and see if this boy liked me. Instead I was kept waiting (a sign of things to come) and sent a text message to a friend saying that he was late and that going to give him another two minutes before I tell him to sod off. As I sending this text I noticed he was in the distance so I wrote oh don't worry he is on his way and he looks cute. Yeah I am 12 years old. I sent the text on its merry way and watched him sit down across from. At this point I was gearing myself up to open my mouth but all I can muster was “hi, how are you”... wow truly I should be writing scripts for Hollywood. Anyway as the coffee and chat went on, neither one of us said anything about the house warming except for the fact I was wasted and crashed at my own party. Yes I am a bad host. I know it. Its part of my charm.
After everything was not said, I went on my merry way but with my ego as low as it could be (around my ankles to be exact) and decided that he wasn't the boy for me.
I was feeling pretty low so I called my friend and asked her why she didn't reply to my message when she queried me, saying she never received anything from me.
“Oh dear god! Are you shitting me?”
I realised at that point I had indeed messaged the boy and not my friend.
“Oh my god, I think he knows how I feel about him. Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do... I know how about you call him and find out if he got the message and what he thinks about the message?”
“You have got to be kidding me?” My friend uttered in disgust. “I am not doing that. Its crazy. Don't worry about it. If he likes you, he will call you.”
“No he won't because I sent him that message, god I am loser,” I seriously was going mad at the embarrassment that I sent the text to the wrong person and now was forcing my dear poor friend to call him and see if he liked me.
What is wrong with this picture? After my friend called the boy she found out that he actually did like me and thought the text was cute (I'm a loser) and that he would call me to chat. See most girls would be all excited instead I threatened not to answer the phone after the shame of sending such a childish text message and then asking my friend to find out if the boy liked me. My god! Can I sink any lower. I can. I didn't answer the phone when he called. One good reason, I was driving on a freeway back to my house and it is not very responsible to answer the phone while driving. So I was being a good citizen. I also was shit scared of answering the phone and needed to think about what I was going to say. A script. I needed a script!
Yeah mental note, scripts don't work. You stumbled through the words, sound rehearsed and look like an idiot. And yes I did look like an idiot.
Through all of that, we managed to organise the first and it was wonderful despite the fact I was so nervous I wanted to throw up. Any smell of food, alcohol and body odour made my stomach hurl.
At the end of the first date of a just drink and wander through the city, he ended up kissing me at my doorstop and that was it.
I was hooked.
That's the problem when it comes to getting hooked, everything become blurring.
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