I fear my butt is growing and there is nothing I can do about it!

I exercise four days a week and eat well, actually I eat really well, except for the occasional biting of chocolate but something very unnerving happened to me last week. 

My personal trainer got out the old measuring tape and the consensus is that my butt is indeed growing.

Ok I should clarify that my body measurements went up a little (like one centimetre) but it still scared me a little. 

My personal trainer was nice about it… his reasoning was that I hurt my back about two months ago and I am recovering from that plus he said I needed to factor in Christmas and New Year holidays too, and all that pasta eating, chocolate guzzling and wine dancing I did. 

Still, one centimetre makes me a very unhappy person.

I am literally been working on my arse for past few months and nothing has changed. It is very frustrating!

Without sounding like a hair commercial, it won’t happen overnight but it will happen. I know I just need to be patient but … bah! I am not a patient person. Never have been.

My back is all better now, so I will be going 110 per cent now.

No more naughty foods (ok maybe once a week otherwise I wouldn’t want to hang out with me, let alone my boyfriend or friends) and burn some booty.

Let’s burn rubber baby!!! 

Happy Straya Day!!

Today 21 million Australians join together in celebration of what makes us unique, loved and revered right around the world.

Our ability to see the lighter things in life and the ability to take the piss out of ourselves without tears… I am not making any reference to other nations (New Zealand and Americans). Just kidding!!

So the 26^th of January is the anniversary of the arrival of the first fleet of convict ships  from the motherland (otherwise known as the United Kingdom, the same country that decided a child stealing bread warranted sending them to the other side of the world) by Captain Arthur Phillip in 1788… the guy with the hat. 

Today isn’t about someone sticking a stick with a flag in some dirt.

Today is about everyone, who made the choice to make Australia their home, the chance to celebrate this fine country.

We celebrate all things Australian or the fact we have stolen everything and anything created by New Zealand and claimed it as our own … Pavlova, Russell Crowe to name a few.

We do have our own things to celebrate – we created the Black Box, Hills Hoist, Garage Roller Door, Photocopy machine, Vegemite, Bionic Ear, and my favourite, the wine cask! And I didn’t look this up. I knew this off the top of my head… that’s Australian damn it… knowing your shit!

                     

Oh! And we invented shoe polish. So when you’re polishing your shoes next time, remember Straya invented!  

Today I am celebrating being an Australian by relaxing, taking the piss out of myself, having a streak on the barbie, and maybe having a beer (and not a light beer or a cider).

Because I can.

Because I’m Australian.

                                                                  

How one spends their evening in the company of women

I spent two evenings this weekend in the company of women.

Friday night, two women who are spoken for (one married, one in a long term relationship).

Saturday night, two women, both single girls, and looking for relationships.

And both lots spoke about men to no end. The talk of men took up 80 per cent of the conversation than anything else. Now I did contribute to the conversation but I did think it was a little odd that we managed to focus purely on men and relationships.

When I was single, I don’t think I spent that much time speaking about men. And I was single for a very long time.

It’s not a bad thing to talk about men and relationships. Honestly it is a very important subject, and being a girl in a relationship with a man, I have invested interest in the subject.

But on Friday night, the question about the status of my relationship came up and two women asked me, incessantly, to divulge information which I was not prepared to and it annoyed me.

My relationship is my business.

I learnt my lesson from my now ex-friend who tried to tell me what I should do and what the now ex-boyfriend, or whatever he was, should be doing and in the end, the relationship was doomed. And it was not entirely said ex friend’s fault but she hated him from the start and did everything to destroy (even talking to him behind my back about what I apparently wanted). He was, in end, a douche arsehole but I learnt that no one… I mean no one… can comment on my relationships. Period.

The only people that can are the two people in the relationship because they are the only two who really know what’s going on.

Saturday night, the question of my relationship wasn’t a factor. It was relationships in general. One friend went on and on and on about how she didn’t want a relationship but kept talking about relationships. We all nodded our heads in unison when she said that. Clearly my lovely friend wants a relationship.

I spent my Saturday night with girls talking about boys, having cocktails and enjoying each other’s company. And the best part, my boyfriend, was sitting right next to me, having a great time and enjoying my friends' company.

The only comments my two girlfriends made about my boyfriend was that he was sweet, wonderful and… well… and other wonderful things. My other two friends’ actually said similar sweet things but it was after I said enough. Bless ‘em.

Oh crap!

I just realised half of this blog is about relationship. Crap!

I walked into that.

Oh well, if you can’t beat it, join it. 

Us girls love a guy in uniform, now confirmed

I read a survey today about the sex lives of Australians.

Apparently Australian girls love tradies, men in uniform, emergency service workers. No debate there.

The strangest findings of said survey were that one in 10 Australian women wanted to be in a porn flick. I am not one of ten but I sure as hell will be asking nine of my friends what the hell they are hiding.

The state of Victoria is the most desperate to have sex with a celebrity, losers. The survey also found half of Victorians are unsatisfied with their sex life… go figure when you have fantasies about sleeping with Brangelina.

My beloved town of Canberra prefers old faithful (missionary position) despite the fact we are the porn capital of Australia. You would think we would be a little more kinky!

Tasmanians are clueless when it comes to positions. No surprises there… they are Tasmanians.

Surveys are friggin’ awesome. They probably surveyed five people and then came up with these findings.

Not bad for tomorrow’s fish and chip paper.

I hate mondays!

When I woke up this morning, I felt this sudden urge to throw the doona over my head and go back to sleep.

I really did not want to go into work and deal with all the annoying 101 questions from my staff about what to do, where to go, who to speak to you, blah blah blah. Figure out for yourself damn it! What am I, your babysitter!!!

Even my star sign today told me that:

It is very important this week, to ignore criticism. Is someone attempting to manipulate you subtly by making some insidious suggestions? Refuse to rise to the bait or to respond to the sense of urgency that you keep being encouraged to feel. There is no tearing rush. All deadlines can be delayed.

You may not be able to take it easy but you can certainly afford to proceed at a more relaxed and comfortable pace. Don’t put yourself under pressure and don’t let anyone else do it to you either.

See, I knew I should have taken the day off today!

Everyone, and everything, annoyed the crap out of me.

I also had a realisation that I need to change my job.

I need to try something new, and something that challenges my brain. Because my brain, right now, is not being used to its full potential and that is irritating me to no end.

So I am adding a new resolution to 2012 besides getting fitter and world domination… get a new job. Stat!

I need to move on and get the hell out of my job. 

I was bored so this is what I did today

                                                         

 

Stop putting stickers on your window!

Ok today I walked around the local bogan dome for my usual lunchtime gander and could not avoid car after car of stupid stickers.

These stickers are responsible for defacing the many cars driving around Canberra, displaying each and every member of one’s family, including the dog, the cactus, fish in a bowl, chicken, grandparents etc… the list keeps going.

It’s unbelievable.

My issue is that one that people feel the need to deface their cars with these stickers.

And two that they are spending at least $5 per sticker.

These stickers are actually in stick figure form something that could have been drawn by a six year old.

Some are simple and stupid like a stick figure of a baby to others like mum in army gear, dad with BBQ, grandparent in hats, fish, cat, dog… I can’t, I just can’t.

Why? Why? WHY!?!?

Seriously, who cares! 

People stop defacing your car with crap!

Please just stick to stickers that say if you can read this, you’re too close, or gone fishing, or even a baby on board sticker… that will do.

Please stop, I beg of you! 

Spirit hands everyone!

Yesterday, I participate in Jazzercise .

Jazzercise, for those who don't know, is a 60 minute fitness class which includes cardio, strength and stretch moves.

My dear friend is one of the instructors which is why I took part in a class yesterday plus as one of my resolutions this year (ie to try new things) I thought why the hell not! And it didn’t disappoint.

First and foremost, Jazzercise does not resemble a teen dance movie, nor did I, at any point, break out spirit or jazz hands at any point.

Jazzercise doesn’t look like this:

It looks like this:

And I looked like this after an hour:

While I enjoyed myself, I did, at one point, want to sit down and catch my breathe after 20 minutes of dancing around to awesome pop music. I love pop music. Although I didn't hear any Michael Jackson this time around.

I have done a lot of extra sports, including softball, baseball, soccer/football, ice hockey, zumba and now Jazzercise. I actually am enjoying this the most… go figure!

I highly recommend it! 

Crap! I’m stuck!

There are few things in this world that I get a little anxious about and getting stuck is one of them.

I hate closed spaces, caves, anything that requires effort for me to get out and today it happened.

The fact that it happened in my own home is a little sad.

My bathroom has been playing up the last few days and today as I walked into my bathroom, a gust of wind slammed it shut. Nice and shut too!

I was stuck. I couldn’t open the door, there was no way I could go out the window as I have restricted access through that room because it is on the ground floor.

I tried multiple times to rip that door open, it didn’t open. And it wouldn’t. Stupid door!

Of course, I swore my mouth off and had a slight tantrum (well slight-ish) which caused my towel rack to come flying off after I smacked in frustration.  So you can imagine how frustrated I was getting at this point, and of course, today was hot… a nice hot 32 degrees.

I actually contemplated breaking my window to get out but of course common sense prevailed.

I stared at my door, willing it to open, and with one gentle ripping of the door handle, my door opened. I was free!!

I speed dialled my dad and now my door is fixed with no fear of being trapped in my own dunny.

Happy New Year

A new year always brings the inevitable question:

What is your resolution for this year?

For many years, I have kept a list. A list of goals I want to reach within a lifetime. Not a year, not a week, in my lifetime – so the pressure is off, so to speak. This avoids the pressure of coming up with stupid, unreachable goals for the year.

I do have little ones to aim for… be healthier and get more fit; oh and world domination but then I list that one every year, never seem to obtain it though... my laziness gets in the way.

Today is a day to celebrate a new beginning, a fresh start, a chance to do over the shit before and make it diamonds!

A day to remember those we loved, we lost and celebrate those are still with us.

How did everyone end up spending their NYE? I spent mine at home, with my new BBQ, with a nice glass of wine from South Australia's Clare Valley (recent holiday) and my boy flipping the steaks. It's quite different to any of my other NYE celebrations (Delhi in 2011, Gold Coast 2010, Switzerland 2009) but funnily enough it was exactly what and where I wanted to be.

Happy new year to everyone.

Let’s make diamonds this year!!