Not bad Bob... not bad at all.

Australian tabloid media has a lot to answer for

Today's sport story is about an Australian swimmer, Leisel Jones, who is preparing for fourth stint at an Olympic games and all the Australian media can talk about is the size of her thighs.

Are you f**king kidding me!

This women is a gold medal swimming champion and earned her spot as a representative of my country at the London Olympic games and arseholes at the Daily Telegraph think its journalism to comment on a woman's weight.

The 'journalist' - I use that term lightly because a columnist is not a journalist - thought she had the right to comment on Leisel having a very pounds to her weight and that she didn't deserve her spot on the Australian swimming team.

She called her fat and said that the photographs of her practising her swimming had nothing to do with the body image debate, and that discussion of her 'condition' was legitimate and not an attack on the sisterhood. Maybe she needs to step away from her keyboard and take a minute to consider how her words affect other people. And the fact she has a job that allows to express every puny little thought bubble she has, it still doesn't give her the right to be a bitch.

There are some women that become bitches when they get jealous of other women's successes.

There are some women like to bring down other women down just to feel about themselves.

And while I don't agree that all women are like this, unfortunately the stereotype steams from somewhere.

But this 'journalist' needs to shut up and start reporting on things that matter.

FYI - I am not even a sports fan. I think the Olympics are boring but this sh*t just isn't on.

What happens next when everything starts to fall into place?

Life has a funny way of making you see clearly without you actually realising it is happening.

I was sitting on my couch watching DVDs when one of the characters said something that stopped me. He was talking about his life and what he wanted, and it resonated with me.  

If you have guessed by now I tend to ask myself a lot of questions.

Think a lot of questions.

Ask a lot of questions.

Or attempt to ask a question but get wobbly at the last second and go silent.

Now that I have managed to extract myself from my old job and the questions about how to change my miserable work attitude to a more positive one has been answered and now closed.

It’s the other questions that are starting to come to a head that I have managed to ignore it to a point because I was never quite strong enough to ask before or even think it.

Even now I am finding it difficult to write this blog because I don’t even know how to finish it. I have been writing this blog on and off for hours now… or in fact I’ve been trying to find a way to write this blog for months now and still can’t find my words.

I wonder if this means something or in fact I’m chicken shit.

See what happens when I ask questions and don’t have the answers because I am not in control of the answers, only the questions.

Man my mind is running around in circles. 

Five days in...

So my first week is finally done and dusted.

And I survived. 

Actually I did much better than that.

My new team are lovely. They are very different from my old team but you never compare.

My new boss is so much better. She doesn't second guess me, she doesn't contradict my opinion or take the glory of other people's work, and most important, she isn’t a paranoid control freak who cares more about pleasing the powers above than supporting and caring about the people that make him look good.

Meow!

I know it’s a little catty but it’s well-deserved.

A friend of mine last night mentioned how relaxed I look.

I feel relaxed, I look relaxed and I feel like a weight has lifted off me and I can rest easy now.

All the stress, anxiety and migraines were all a direct result of my old boss and work and now it’s gone.  

I am so relaxed that I actually almost felt the need to skip some parts of my walk to work the other day.

I was listening to Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin and it was a sunny cold morning in Canberra and as I walked the twenty minutes to work, I felt like skipping. I have not felt this way for some time. Actually, the time I felt like this was when I started dating my boyfriend. But work-wise, I have never felt like that.

It’s lovely.

And free.  

It was the right time to go

My last day in my old job was a joke.

I think after eight years my expectations of what I expected from my colleagues on my last day was simply to expect anything.

I got a table with a packet of chips, dips, and a bottle of warm flat light beer.

I didn't expect much but I didn't expect that.

That was just pathetic.

Another colleague of  mine was going on a six week holiday and got the works.

I actually expected my boss to say some words, instead he said let me know if you don't like, and let me know if you're coming back.

I made the right decision.

The decision to leave was always going to be a hard one but now I know it was the right one.

I will always speak of them with the utmost respect because rubbishing them would be rubbishing me but anything more will never be utter from my lips.

So long, farewell.

Farewell bitches!

Tomorrow is my last day in my current job.

Onwards and upwards awaits me.

I’m in two minds as to what I am expecting and what will actually happen tomorrow.

One, my team will probably either (a) hold a morning tea, (b) a lunch for me, or (c) an afternoon tea in my honour… yes, we communication experts have a wild imagination.

Something with food is a given… its more about them, than me… they want to get out of the office because Fridays are nightmare days for us. Or for them now. 

It’s what my boss may or may not say that is what is intriguing me a little more than it should because why do I care? Part of me thinks he may redeem himself and acknowledge the eight years of dedication and loyalty I have shown to his team… or he will say it’s only a three month stint in the other team; you’ll be back because everyone always comes back to my team.

I think it’s latter and believe me, he has actually said these words to former staff.

I partly want to tell him to shove the job up his arse, while I do a cartwheel down the corridor, screaming wahoo the whole way down.

I’m thinking that’s the way to go.

And while it is officially only a three month stint, I have no intention of returning to that job because of so many reasons but the main reasons is that I have outgrown that place and no longer have anything left to give. And it return has nothing left to offer.

I spoke with another colleague who is also leaving our little nest, and she expressed almost identical reasons for why she was leaving, as mine. Ironically funny. She, as I, is tired of being expected to do more than others, who failed to even come half way to the work load we do. She, as I, is tired of the lack of support and leadership. And she, as I, is tired. 

I love my profession. I love to write. I love to talk. I love being around people. Everything that my job is.

So I am not saying goodbye to my career tomorrow, only goodbye to my job.

I hope tomorrow goes quickly.

I am already thinking about what I am doing after work tomorrow night… and it won’t be anything related to my job.

Not feeling it ...

I have an interview this week and I really don't feel like going.

I was offered a job interview at this organisation I've always wanted to work at but the problem is, its a job in my current industry; an industry I want to leave.

I want to try to expand my career but this job interview will bring me back to a job that has left me uninspired. The thing is the job is in an organisation I've always wanted to work in so I'm going to the interview tomorrow.

I hate interviews.

Who wants to talk about themselves and bullshit about how fantastic they are and hide all their flaws and weaknesses in fear that no one will want it in their organisation.

I have met one person that enjoys them or even feels 50:50 about it.

I am actually excited about this opportunity I will be starting in a week and all my energy is into counting down the days until I can leave my current team  (five days and counting).

So I am lacking some enthusiasm for this interview... actually I have none.

I don't want to go but I will because I want to work in the organisation... anyway who knows if they will offer a job to me anyway. This is a highly competitive organisation, a lot of people want to work there so I am up against a high calibre of people, with a range of experience.

Ill go but the bullshit will be missing.

I am going to answer the questions straight and show them I have what it takes.

Five days until I can goodbye to the shitty hours, the lack of respect, the double standards, the lack of management, and finally move on. I have been waiting for this for a very long time and it will soon be here.

No one knows how long I have been waiting to leave my current job. It has been so long that I am feeling exhausted by the idea of another five days of polite smiling and fake enthusiasm for a job I hate.

Five days and counting!