Why does being honest and assertive get me in hot water?

Why does being honest and assertive get me in hot water?

Today, two of my colleagues were asked to give references for me for a job I had applied and was keen on winning.

Now I am an outsider and know that two internal people are vying for one job, so my chances are not extremely good but ill cross my fingers (and toes anyway).

Anyway back to the references, one colleague gave me a glowing references about my skills as a writer, a communicator and a team player. So essentially, two thumbs up.

While the other colleague gave a somewhat glowing reference where she was referred to my excellent writing abilities but raised the issue of my directness. Now, references are supposed to be accentuating my fabulousness, not pointing out something that she may see as a flaw when I see it as an attribute.

The thing is I don’t see directness as a bad thing. I see it as a person who is honest and assertive and is willing to get on with the job, not like others, simply sit still and wait for work (and eventual crisis’s) come to them.

Yet, my colleague thought it was appropriate to point it out, and then proceed to seek advice from our boss (who did not know I applied for the job) and see if the reference was correct. He agreed! Yeah you can imagine my reaction.

After saying nothing to no one, I spoke to my manager and he said that he was miffed that I had applied for job but he would have liked to have known about. I disagreed. I told him that while my honesty might not being everyone’s cup of tea, I am not changing for anyone, not now, not ever.

Anyway at the end of the day, I believe being honest and assertive is part of what makes me bloody awesome at my job, and it is these two attributes, which has seen progress quickly up my career ladder at the tender age of 29.

Those who criticise are only reflecting their insecurities, not mine.

So to all my criticisers… blow it out your arse!

What happened to Friday night drinks?

Tonight I had the pleasure of enjoying a drink with a friend at a pretentious, overtop, mediocre bar in Canberra’s suburb in Barton.

And while I did enjoy catching up with my lovely friend, I didn’t appreciate watching a parade of orange-tanned women, dressed like thosr women from Sex n City crossed with a hooker, trying to get the attention of men wearing tight shirts, pants and over styled hair.

I swear I spent half the time saying…

Did you see what she was wearing? Oh dear god!

If I could I would have posted photos of said outfits because it was incredible the lengths these women went to in order to get the attention of men.

The very men who looked like they spent more time in front of mirror then I would in an entire week.

What happened to going for a drink on a Friday night after work in jeans and a top, and it being a-ok?

I swear my friend was probably one of handful of people in jeans, and I was in a sun dress that was over 10 years old, and handed down to me.

Also what happened to casual?

Was there a memo that casual meant dressing in one of those dresses from Ice with stilettos from Novo? I remember jeans being acceptable in a bar.

Ah how life has changed… or is it just the yuppies wanting to show off their pay cheques and their inability to save money for … I don’t know… food?!

I guess taking the piss out of these people tonight landed me in trouble with karma… cause I got a parking ticket later than night. Ah bittersweet.

At least I can walk further than a street in my shoes and bend over without showing … well everything!

I knew I was right!

Man I should really buy myself a lottery ticket… I would probably win!

Today there was a development at work… well actually a realisation that I am right.

I don’t know why people think they are right, sorry, you’re wrong. When I’m involved, you’re wrong, im right.

My boss thought he knew better when he decided to change my job and make me a manager… don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind managing people; it’s just, I don’t want to.

Anyway, today the realisation, that one person cannot do my old job on their own finally hit him. A very stressed look on his face confirmed what I had known for three months… I am right.

Ah bless him for trying something different but when you move into a position I don’t want, and never asked for, and think that somehow the work will still get done – you’re sadly mistaken because I don’t do two jobs for one pay cheque.

I also believe in karma.

And the mantra, don’t mess with me.

So today is the slippery slope to change.

I will soon be back in the job that I loved and want to do for the short term because everyone should have job where they get up in morning and want to go to. Not a job, where they dread the pain that might kick them in the arse, repeatedly, until it’s time to knock off. And even when you do, it continues at home because the word “manager” means you can never switch off and someone will always be invading your personal life.

My old (soon to be new) job can be frustrating, tiring and make me scream out in bloody murder but it’s rewarding and I get to write something that is heard, read and soaked in by one person, five people, a hundred people, thousands, or even millions. And that is what I want from a job.

I knew I was right!

I hate the waiting!!

The tickets are booked.

The travel insurance is ready.

Passport is sitting nicely in my draw.

Backpack now ready to be packed.

Now comes the waiting.

I hate waiting for a holiday... everything between the time you book it and the time you arrive at the airport feels like years. And the worst part, you go on a holiday and its over in a flash.

ARGH!!

I have two trips planned... the first is two weeks in South East Asia, specifically Thailand and Laos with my girls; the second is four days in Adelaide with my boy.

So I have to wait four weeks. Four bloody weeks!

All I have contend with now is reading about my holidays.

I hate waiting … I hate waiting for holidays; waiting for service; waiting for words; I hate it!

Ah time...

Four weeks to the day I will be 30 years young.

Thirty years of happy memories, sad memories, the challenges, the drama, and of course, the travelling.

November 11 will be the next phase… Oh seriously that sounds like complete bullshit and from those stupid-arse Hallmark cards that people get every year.

It’s a birthday, I am not having a lobotomy!

My life is not over, the ticking clock of whatever is nowhere in sight, and I am not thinking of what is happening next year… I am thinking of what is happening now.

I guess the only thing that is bothering me is … well actually nothing. I had to think about that.

I tried to think about what (if any) was my issue with turning 30 and nothing. When I was 21, I always assumed by the time I turned 30, I would have achieved everything.

Life doesn’t work that way – thank god!

How boring would the next 40 years be if I achieved everything by 30!

I am actually looking forward to spending my birthday with my boy, my friends, some good food and good wine; and that’s enough for me.

A nice reminder...

I sit here a little teary because an old friend appeared today.

I was logged on to Facebook and pictures of an old friend who passed away four years ago appeared.

I found myself clicking into all his photos, seeing that lovely and cheeky smile of his… the very one that used to make me laugh and put me in stitches. The very same one I don’t see anymore.

When my friend passed away, it was the wakeup call I needed to realise that I was wasting my life being a moody bitch who just fault in everything because it easier than doing about it.

All the plans I had set myself for had been ignored and put in the too hard basket. When my friend died, I saw these beautiful photos of him, smiling, enjoying life and it was the wakeup call I needed. After the funeral, I walked out and book myself a ticket to London.

It was the best thing I ever did because it changed my life and it brought me back from the doom and gloom I had built all around me.

His photos just reminded me of how far I have come and how grateful I am to him for making me open my eyes.

xoxox to Josh.