Is the wool being pulled over my eyes?

My boss asked me to come into his office to talk...

My first assumption is that I have said something (a) inappropriate, (b) offensive, or (c) inappropriate, offensive and loud all in one comment.

No instead I was asked if I wanted a new opportunity in a different team, doing something completely different and working with a whole bunch of new people.

My last blog entry said I was bored with my job.

Now I have been given the opportunity to try something new and I don't want it.

What's wrong with this picture?

My boss doesn't want me to go. I know that its for a few reasons - one, he doesn't want my corporate knowledge of the agency going out the window, two I have a strong work ethic, and three he wants me to stay and enjoys working with me.

It's sweet but I don't want to work in his team any more.

And now I am given an opportunity to work with people I know nothing about, and what their capabilities are, and the first thing I want to do is say no. Fark!

I should be studied.

Part of me wants to try it out... what's three months. Seriously! It will go in a flash. I know that.

Once I am done at the three month mark, I can go back to my old job and do the same thing again. At least I can come back with extra skills and three months to look for another job. Or at least apply for more and more jobs and wait for the call that I have won the job lotto.

OK I might have gone full circle on this whole new opportunity.

Again, I should be studied.

So what to do? What to do!

blah, blah, blah

Probably not the best time to write a blog... I have had two wines but god I am so tired of keeping up appearances.

Work is just blah, blah, blah.

I have never talked about my job. I don't intend to talk about it now.

This is more about how I feel about going to work and how I feel about leaving work.

It starts off in a depressing mood, and then ends with a uplifting skip to the car.

It never used to be like this but lately I feel very uninspired by everything and everyone around me.

I used to love coming into work but every since my job changed (without my approval or input) I have been watching the door, waiting for any opportunity to come my way.

I have applied, and applied, and applied for jobs and nothing.

I am not down in the dumps yet but my positive energy and ability to pick myself up and dust off the dirt has taken a beaten, and now I wonder how much more I can take before I say no more.

I still have a lot left in me but I swear the ability to keep my mouth shut and tell all the lazy, whingy and whiny people around me to sod off is taking to slowly chip away. I am finding myself, smiling politely and walking away... this is better than me opening my mouth and saying ... well anything. Its better. For everyone.

What I am saying is nothing new.

Everyone complains about their job. It cannot be 100 per cent perfect.

You can't love your job 100 per cent but I am looking for about 80 to 90 per cent....

I'm going to Colplay

Nothing beats a surprise call from your boyfriend to say I just bought tickets to Coldplay, one of the biggest bands in the world.

Yes the band that has sold 55 million records around the world will be in my backyard.

No I am not Mark Zuckerberg.... Coldplay will be visiting Australia and I am going to the Sydney concert.

Now all I have to do is wait until November.

That's just 6 months away.

I can wait that long ... I think.

Don't ssshh me... or ill break your finger

I don't like being sssshed

Yes, I am loud.

And yes, I tend to get louder as I get more animated about my story telling.

So deal with it.

Just don't sssssh me.

I hate it. It's rude. And if you knew me then you would know that (one) I am loud, (two) I don't care if people are listening because I am not saying anything that would offend anyone and giving away my credit card details, (three) generally most of the time, the strangers around me are not listening, and (four) deal with it!

Yes, sometimes I may be louder than usual but that's because I am in the moment and feeling animated.

I am not screaming like a hyena so next time you feel the urge to ssshhh, I might feel the need to slap you with a wet fish or worse.

I don't stop people in their conversations or story telling, I listening intently and enjoy listening... so why should anyone stop me!

Yeah biatches!

Questions, overthinking, thinking. I hate it all!

For the past few weeks my brain has been in overdrive, riddled with questions.

Questions I can't actually answer because the answers are out of my hands.

All the answers are dependent on my environment and of course, other people. 

And because I am too chicken shit to ask, I just sit patiently and wait.

Like anyone on this planet, I don't like rejection... who does! I don't like the silence you don't hear after asking a question because more questions come... the head questions.

I'm tad neurotic because I tend to overthink things and play out scenarios that will never happen because I want to be prepared in case that scenario because a reality. See what I mean.

And that’s the dilemma because if I was more forthright I would grab the questions by the balls and demand an answer but I not a demanding kind of person. Well, not too demanding.  

So what is a girl to do?

Should she:

1.   Leave it, don’t ask and hopefully things turned out the way I hope it does by being patient?

2.   Say something, and risk the incoherent mess of my words that will usually follows?

3.   Write down what I want to say, hand to them, and then make a run for it and hopefully they will n  shoot the right message into the sky.

4.   Say nothing because maybe just maybe there is nothing to be said.

Bah!

Screw this. It’s all too hard. See chicken shit… that’s me!

I just want a sign or something but the thing is I am not one of those people who wait for a sign. I think I am too impatient to wait for the sign. It would be nice for my questions to be answered without me having to ask them. 

I am thinking its number 3. J