Not sure if this is for me or not... blogging.

I write and there is no response.

Is that a metaphor?

Bugger it!!

It's all a little too hard right now.

I need to throw the blanket over my head and just pretend all the dramas and all the negativity doesn't exist. It would surely make my life a little easier.

I also blame myself a little. I draw in this stress and then I react to it as a sponge. I take it all in and then it fester until I can't take it anymore. And last Friday was it. I woke up with a blinding migraine and sat there in pain all day and night. All because of work.

Yep work caused this. I am - like many - doing three people's jobs and there is no relief. I am told that we have to do more with less and I accept that but not to the determinate of my health. I am at home now all stressed out with headaches and migraines. This isn't right.

I could just say no to the workload but I don't feel like I have that option. I am paid a good wage and the work has to be done. Many of my staff don't want to do it or don't like it. So it falls on me. It sucks cause if they can adopt that attitude why can't I. I blame my work ethic and being too productive. That's my downfall.

So the thing I need to do is? What? Say no to the work load. Yeah that's an option but then things don't get done and then that creates stress for me and then I have my bosses on my tail.

Do I ask for more staff? I have also asked for that... and its met with silence.

So just don't do the work. And if it falls down then there is a reason for that. I can't do it. My one good staffer can't do it all.

I need to remind myself of that because I think sitting here, feeling stressed and exhausted. This feeling isn't working for me and doesn't make me feel like the strong, confident person I am.

So bugger it.

I am writing a list of things to do to relax me and change things, and I am going to do it.

I'm back

I have had a bit of a hiatus from blogging but I'm back.

More to come

Anything else?!?!

So bored with Canberra.

Same old, same old.

I need to get away from this place. It just seems like everything is on repeat.

I know people say how about stop whinging about it and do something.

I do. Believe me. I keep myself busy but its seems like the same thing each time in the end.

I want to go explore somewhere new. Somewhere different. Just not Canberra.

I think I am just in a meh town.

Feeling a bit down and a bit over it.

It happens.

The thing is, I was born in Canberra, spent some time overseas, but have come back to Canberra. I do love the place but not every single day. Its just the same thing.

Its a little sad to watch Canberrans get excited when a new restaurant opens every now and again... you see the long lines for the place and then another opens up and they are off running. Its because there isnt each much going on here.

It seems more directed at entertaining people with little ones. Lucky bastards.They always get the fun stuff. ;-)

I end up doing the same thing every weekend and its starting - ever so slightly - to get tedious. I look at what else is going on and it doesn't really catch my fancy. Not much to explore when you've seen it all.

I think the issue is that I just need a change of location.

Click... where to next?

Driving home one night

I was driving home from dinner with a friend on Saturday night and took a wrong turn.

Simple enough.

Innocent enough.

I did a U turn in the dark street and made my way back to where I was supposed to go.

I stopped at the give way sign for well under the legal limit and skipped over to the other side just as I noticed a police van sitting behind my car.

I commented to my friend that I did something naughty in front of a police car and thought nothing else.

The lights turned on.

The sires went off.

Shit!

All I did was not wait that long at the give sign... and may or may not have had two glasses of wine at dinner.

So I was up shit creek. And was very clear about that.

The policeman comes by my door, puts his flashlight in my face and then looks at me oddly.

I thought it was about the give way sign.

I thought it was about the wine I drank.

Nope.

It was the fact I made a quick u turn at this notoriously known drug apartment in Canberra. Its known for its supply and demand for Ice.

Yeah I didn't think they would be asking me that.

Both policemen looked in shock when I said I had no idea that the apartment/street was known for that. They had seen my make a sudden u turn and presumed I had seen the cop van and was running away. I have lived in Canberra - nearly my whole life - and I had no idea about this street. Go figure!

Suffice to say, I nearly shit myself at the idea of getting booked for (a) the give way sign, or (b) the wine but I didn't think about (c).

Always think of (c).

My souvenir from my night

Where are your manners?!

Seriously! If I am walking towards the door and am literally two steps away from reaching said door... don't close it in front of me or pretend you didn't see me.

I know you saw me.

I know you are an arse just like all the other people I have had the privilege of meeting or not meeting in the last few weeks.

Each and everyone of you has no issue with commenting on everything I do, from carrying coffee up stairs to closing doors in my face or letting off a nice big fart in the elevator just as I walk in, and you walk out. Yes a fart. Who does that? Actually happily farts and walks away with your head held high?

Mind your manners.

If you act this way at work, I would hate to know how you act in your personal life or if you have friends. You know you shouldn't have friends ... unless they are just like you.

I am in the midst of a science experiment. Watching the people around me and how they interact in their environment and how they interact with me. Safe to say, its not working quite well.

I am screaming in my head in frustration at the absolute lack of social skills these people have, and they in turn, look at me as if I am a tree loving hippy out to change their entire existence... i need more time in the day to do that.

I always knew they were slightly left of centre but i didnt realise how far left of that centre they were.

At this point its a science experiment of numpties.

At least I know I am assured of laughing every single day... at their expense of course.

I made this

A beehive cake for my nephew's first birthday!