Bugger it!!

It's all a little too hard right now.

I need to throw the blanket over my head and just pretend all the dramas and all the negativity doesn't exist. It would surely make my life a little easier.

I also blame myself a little. I draw in this stress and then I react to it as a sponge. I take it all in and then it fester until I can't take it anymore. And last Friday was it. I woke up with a blinding migraine and sat there in pain all day and night. All because of work.

Yep work caused this. I am - like many - doing three people's jobs and there is no relief. I am told that we have to do more with less and I accept that but not to the determinate of my health. I am at home now all stressed out with headaches and migraines. This isn't right.

I could just say no to the workload but I don't feel like I have that option. I am paid a good wage and the work has to be done. Many of my staff don't want to do it or don't like it. So it falls on me. It sucks cause if they can adopt that attitude why can't I. I blame my work ethic and being too productive. That's my downfall.

So the thing I need to do is? What? Say no to the work load. Yeah that's an option but then things don't get done and then that creates stress for me and then I have my bosses on my tail.

Do I ask for more staff? I have also asked for that... and its met with silence.

So just don't do the work. And if it falls down then there is a reason for that. I can't do it. My one good staffer can't do it all.

I need to remind myself of that because I think sitting here, feeling stressed and exhausted. This feeling isn't working for me and doesn't make me feel like the strong, confident person I am.

So bugger it.

I am writing a list of things to do to relax me and change things, and I am going to do it.