What makes a good friend?

The question was put to me by a friend who sent a text message venting her anguish and stress after having a bad day.

She called out asking for the family and friends that never supported her, and who never listened to her to sod off.

In her words, a friend is someone who provides a whole lot of support, a huge amount of listening (not hearing) and a large quantity of talking through (not solving) problems and only a touch of judgement if required.

She’s right!

My response to her text and the people who continually pull her down and make her question herself was ‘fuck em, fuck em all I say’.

These people are only pulling her down because they are jealous and insecure about themselves and the lives they have lost out of sheer fear of failure.

So they sit at home and criticise everyone else and make them repeat their failings so they can feel better about themselves. It has nothing to do with my friend or me.

They just want to bring you down, put you in your place, and make you feel insecure because it’s a reflection of their insecurities, not yours.

The thing that pisses me off is that they are supposes to be your friend.

Yeah you’re friend can advise and tell you that it might not be a good idea but in the end if you choose to go the opposite direction, you expect your friend to say, I will still be there.

That’s their job! Because you would do that for them.

When I came back from a year away overseas, I made the decision to rid myself of the insecurities and negativity that had dogged me for years. These people I believed were my friends. In the end, I got tired of always listening to their problems, their issues and their insecurities. I got tired of always having to be there for them and they didn’t bother to turn around and say, hey what’s going on with you, and actually mean it. Not use to then talk about themselves again

These people who are no longer in my life, and if they were to read this, they know they deserved it. And if the selfless arses don’t then I am better off without them in my life.

My year overseas opened my eyes.

I saw myself for the first time.

And when I came home, I made the promise to myself that no-one, NO-ONE, would ever make me feel insecure, question myself or make me feel bad about myself.

No one would make me feel that I couldn’t do anything.

Or tell me that I was only in my position because of them.

Or second guess myself or poison relationships with friends or more in order to have my full attention.

No one will ever have that control anymore.

And if the fuckers want to try, all I have to say is,  fuck em, fuck em all I say!