Shazza? Tazza? Shoot me now!

Sitting at Bangkok airport waiting for my flight back to Australia, my worst flight nightmare came walking in.

Two girls wandered in wearing inappropriately tight (tiger print) dresses that didn’t cover enough, with their fake Louis Vuitton carry bags and fake brown tans, and talking loudly to one another … this was not the worst part.

One was named, Shazza, the other Tazza.

I kid you not! They actually called each other that.

I scanned the waiting room and saw everyone give a collectively sigh and hoped and prayed that these two idiots would not sitting next to them. I even hoped I would be sitting next to babies just to avoid sitting next to the bogans.

How these women were given passports and able to represent our country overseas makes me shudder. Bad Australian Government, Bad Australian Government.

They were rude to everyone around them, including a Muslim family, and talked about meat and boys (I am not elaborately), and then proceeded to talk rudely about everyone people in the room.

Then they locked on to two Indigenous men and asked about their “cutar” … I think they meant guitar… that they were carrying. They too were unimpressed.

I had to put my head down and my hand over my mouth to stop the laughter from escaping my mouth and prevent them from seeing my eyes roll permanently to the back of my head.

At least I wasn’t the only one worried about sitting next to the bogans. I saw two people look at me and asked where I was sitting and the proximity to those bogans… I managed to find out that I was no where near… but they were. Poor bastards.

As everyone walked on to the plane (the girls a few rows ahead), one woman behind me muttered that she would have to drink as soon as she gets on to get through the eight hours of the mindless chatter from the bogans.

I ended up finding my seat directly across from two infants but I breathed a sigh of relief as I noticed the bogans were safely sitting in another section from me. There is a god!

And while I spent the rest of my flight trying to avoid chatting to the man next to me who was clearly flirting with me and kept talking, despite me putting on earphones and an eye mask. Get a clue!

Ah flying… you need it to get to places but if I could avoid it, I would…