Ah that's what it feels like

I woke yesterday morning with a big smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders.

I can't explain it. I don't know what happened. I don't remember anything changing but I felt like me again.

I felt like smiling.

I felt like laughing.

And nothing was fake. Nothing was exaggerated. It was all real because I felt calm and happy.

And it continues. I feel exactly the same on day two. Can't it? Can't be real? Will it suddenly go away? Who knows but I'm enjoying it while its here.

I spent much of yesterday cooking and baking, and bought myself a second hand red leather jacket that made me feel gorgeous and hot. I felt very sexy. And I don't usually say that about myself.

I cooked a lasagne and a stew and decided to bake my man a chocolate truffle cake just because he has been putting up with a moody, sulky, whingy bitch. I know it. He doesnt say it (and hopefully doesnt think it. ;-) ). I don't like being that person because its not me. It never was. Just the job, my family, some friends and the world got to me and invited it. I have now decided enough is enough and I'm come first. And without being selfish, my happiness comes first because without it, everything and everyone else around me is affected.

So whatever cloud, mist, fog, shit parade has been dumped me on me in the past year it can fuck off, cause I'm not interested and I don't want to hear it anymore. Because its not my problem.

I feel very calm and relaxed. Its odd but I like it.