When I was single, I complained about not being in a relationship.
When I was in a relationship, I complained that I wanted to be single.
This thought is not subject to women only, men have the same thought bubbles.
So why do we enter into relationships knowing the majority are doomed to end into tiny broken pieces?
Is it about sex?
Companionship?
Having (a) travel, (b) dinner, (c) movie, (d) sitting in a park buddies.
The fear of dying alone?
Am I missing anything?
I personally don’t have these thought patterns.
I don’t have a fear of dying alone.
I can travel on my own. And have.
I can eat out at restaurants on my own.
I can go to movies on my own.
I can sit in a park on my own.
I have friends and family for companionship.
Ah but last but not least is sex.
You got me there.
Do you need to have a relationship to get it?
As a woman, only wanting that, and nothing else, does it constitute all sorts of slurs on one’s reputation?
If so, why aren’t men subject to the same slurs?
Why do they just get high fives and slaps on the back but women are subjected to slurs such as ‘cheap’, ‘skant’, ‘slut’ or ‘slapper’?
This isn’t the first time this has been brought up.
I am not Germaine Gree.
I only mention it because it hasn’t changed.
Society still hasn’t changed.
It doesn’t matter if Sex and the City revolutionised women in the 21st century, a slut is a slut.
All the Samantha’s in the world can never change how your friends, family and peers see you.
And you won’t ignore it.
Society is built around judging others.
How people see you.
What people think of you.
Everyone wants to be accepted.
Anyone who tells you they don’t care what people think of them … IS A DOWNRIGHT FILTHY LIAR!!!
What do we think?
2 comments:
This is a complex one to respond to, as I think you raise a few points here. Firstly, why do we do it?
I have asked myself that question many, many times. I've been married and I've been single. And right now, I am single again after being married, and I've got to confess part of me really, really likes singleness. I've got my life back! I can watch what I want on TV, I can cook what I want for dinner, I can please myself on weekends. I differ with you a little bit on the travel thing though. I have travelled solo, but I have to admit that I enjoy travel a lot more if I have someone to share it with.
And maybe that's one of the reasons I'd like a partner again some day - I'd just like to have someone to share things with. And I also really like sex... which brings me to something else you said, that women who have casual sex are sluts.
I disagree. I think it is difficult for a woman to have casual sex, but not because of what other people think (it's possible to keep your private life private) but because we are just not good at shutting off our emotions. We are kind of programmed to care and that causes entanglements and heart-ache. Guys are much better at separating sex from emotion. And this is why after going a bit wild for a while, I'm now happily celibate. I've decided not to sleep with anyone again until there is a real relationship in place. It's tough though... cause I really do like sex. So every now and then I toy with the idea of just finding myself a toy boy again... but then I realise that emotionless sex just makes me sad.
But I really want to be clear that I don't think women who have casual sex are sluts. It is possible to sleep with people casually and still do it ethically and responsibly... I just can't cope with the emotional side effects.
That's my two cents worth, anyway. A long comment... but your post raised a lot of issues!
Absolutely. I say that there is potentially for slurs because a friend of mine, not only believed she was one but was told she was by her female friends. How can that be?
I think if two people are consensual adults then what's the problem?
I just think the problem is women cannot separate their emotions from it all. And why should we?
I couldn't do it and have yet to hear from any of my female friends who have been able to do it... they may start off emotionally detached from it but in the end we have hearts, brains, emotions and no one can toy with that.
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